We hired some friends to be our photographers. They were excellent, and they did everything that we asked them to do. My wife and I still flip through out wedding photos from time to time, and we nearly always make a comment about how happy we are with the photos.
The only issue, really, is that there are no photos of just me and my wife outside of the chapel doors on our wedding day. We have photos with family members on both sides, our best of friends, our wedding party, and the our priest friend who married us. We have a lot of precious photos, snapshot memories of that happy day. But we don't have a photo of us, just the two of us, right outside the chapel doors the day we got married.
We have do have some from a little later, near the chapel, while everyone else was getting their first round of drinks. They're good, sweet photos. I love them a lot. But it still nagged at me that we didn't have this one, seemingly basic photo. I didn't put it on the "shotlist" for the day, but I still figured it would happen, that it would have to happen. But it didn't -- no such photo exists.
For a long time, about two and a half years since we got married, this has bothered me. It's been like an itchy tag that I just couldn't ignore or forget about.
But today, I was able to look at it a different way. Rather than understanding this photo of my wife and me standing alone as the one thing we lack, I am able to see what the rest of the photos stand for.
We have a collection of photos of the people who attended our wedding and supported us, people who form our community of support. We aren't alone as a couple to figure out marriage; instead, we have a group of people who want to help us figure it out and sustain us when it is hard. Even apart from the specifics of marriage, we know we have support if one of us were to lose a job or if we need help with childcare.
So this missing photo, is it something that I still miss? Yes, sometimes. But it's easier now to remember that we have this loving family and community that is willing to hold us up as we navigate this new married life.
About Noah Banks
While this is intended to be a personal blog of sorts, I use it to document my Italian Citizenship process and share it with my family. Strangers are welcome here, but the content may not be of equal value to all. Please email me with questions, and I will do my best to help you.
