So one of the goals that I set for 2024 was to write publicly. And what better way to start than sharing my experience of becoming a British citizen today. I considered building this up slowly rather than starting with this meandering, major post; perhaps I’d give my take on a book or film I’ve experienced recently or share a meta-post outlining how I feel and think about writing in public before then scaling upwards from there. I’ll look forward to writing those other posts soon enough, but this is too important a milestone to not memorialize. Starting with something this big, it’s all going to be downhill from here - a rather British sentiment, I must say :)

This day represents so many things, and I’m not quite sure where to start. Chronologically is as good as any. My first real interaction with the UK, besides history classes in America, was when I was in college uni. I was studying mechanical engineering at a school in Boston (no, not Harvard). Tufts’ culture includes a focus on global citizenship, so I briefly considered the comprehensive study abroad program. However, the engineering curriculum was rigorous, and this limited us to English-speaking options for studying abroad - New Zealand or London. New Zealand was too far from home, and I dismissed London quickly as “too similar to America - why would I want to go there?”...

Jumping forward 9 years, I was in grad school and had fallen in love. For bureaucratic reasons, she couldn’t get an American visa, so we ended up taking a punt on London. I got my first corporate job, and we came to visit the UK over Christmas to be sure we didn’t completely hate it before signing on the dotted line. During a lovely trip and after a delicious Indian meal (the first of many), I was excited to make the job/move official. And while that relationship didn’t last, I’ll be forever grateful for the good times, the growth from the hard times, and the unexpected reason to move to this city which has *felt like a home I didn’t know I had* until arriving here.

Growing up, I always felt mostly American, but there was something else there too. Even though my Turkish father prioritized bringing us up as Americans, culture seems to be a form of tacit knowledge - hard to describe, suppress, or even acknowledge as an intentional set of behaviours. I’m reminded of David Foster Wallace’s, This Is Water, where he tells a brilliant parable:

This is how I have felt about American culture. Despite learning as a child and young adult about different cultures, religions, and countries’ histories, I had never intuitively *got* what American culture was until I had moved abroad and felt the contrast. Simultaneously, I began to feel less American in that I could drop aspects of American culture that weren’t working for me, yet I also started feeling more patriotic about the values of my home that I wanted to continue celebrating. It’s a confusing sensation which has changed over the years, but is still solidly there.

Sharing this with friends and colleagues, I learned that I was far from alone in this experience. Apparently, I identify as a Third Culture Kid. This can be confusing as I don’t feel complete belonging within my home culture, yet it’s also freeing and fun to be open to influence from the world over. Over these last 6.5 years in the UK, I’ve enjoyed the process of learning which “American” behaviours I want to keep going with, which are better left back in the states, and which aspects of my personality were “British” from the start (to my high school friends who found my sense of humour a tad dry - I was just in the wrong country…).

So now the British government and the King have helped to make this multi-cultural identity official, with apologies to Paul Graham for taking on some rather large identities. Jokes aside, I’m reminded of the political economy concept of Exit, Voice, and Loyalty. As a full citizen, not just a permanent resident, I’m afforded the option to leave and come back if the opportunity (or need) presents itself. This credible option to leave strengthens my ability to voice my opinion from within. Put another way, without exit voice is muted, and only loyalty remains.

Even if this Exit, Voice, and Loyalty distinction is mostly a moot point from a legal perspective (I couldn’t vote in the UK before today), symbolically it feels like an internal shift. And I’m grateful to have the opportunity to put down roots and vote in not just one but two countries; this is a special situation, and I look forward to finally engaging with British politics.

I’ve felt a big shift in integration today, and I look forward to choosing to invest each next day here in London and the UK. That’s as good a point as any to leave this, for today. Thanks for listening.

With thanks to: our weekly discussion group, this winter’s retreat group and facilitator, and all of you who have been here for part of this rollercoaster of a UK journey - looking forward to plenty more soon.

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