Aaron Pinero

March 6, 2021

A really bad movie

During the pandemic, I think the bar for watchable content has been lowered. There’s just so much more time at home to consume more of that bottomless pit of streamable content. After you get through all the movies and shows you really wanted to see, you are left with everything else you were, at best, lukewarm about.

Like Wandavision. Normally, after the pain of the first episode, I would not have bothered with any more. But then I watched a second. Or, part of the second. Like with the first, I can only watch about 10 minutes of it before it becomes excruciating and I need to either fast forward or turn it off.

When you’re at a movie theater, it can be hard to walk out. You went through all the trouble and cost for the experience. Turning away from the movie and leaving the theater is a big step. At home, you can just “change the channel”. But at home there is also a laziness. You might just keep watching because there’s nothing else to do.

Which brings me to In the Name of the King: a Dungeon Siege Tale. I like Jason Statham movies. I’ve enjoyed each one that I’ve seen. But even he put out this dumpster fire. I was definitely worried when I saw that Ray Liotta and Burt Reynolds had been cast in a medieval fantasy movie. The presence of Matthew Lillard as a main supporting character sealed it. The casting leaves little doubt that the makers of this movie had no idea what they were doing. The writing doesn't do the mismatched cast any favors either. The only folks doing any decent work here are Statham, Leelee Sobieski, and John Rhys-Davies. Okay, Ron Perlman isn't bad, but maybe it's Liotta, Reynolds, and Lillard making him look good.

When you look at this movie on paper, it should have been good. There are a lot of big names in the cast. But this movie was cast like an NBA team that intends to play small ball but drafts a whole bunch of centers and power forwards, and then hires Phil Jackson who actually wants to coach the Triangle. All the players may have huge upside, but they just don't mesh with each other or the system and can't get any W's.

I didn't finish the movie. But because pandemic, I might go back and see the rest. More likely, I'll fast forward to the end so I can say I know how it turns out. Then I'll go back and watch Redemption, Safe, and The Transporter.