Working with others, whether team leads or colleagues, can be challenging. We often struggle to understand why some people behave poorly or seem unpleasant. It's only through years of experience and patience that we begin to grasp the reasons behind their actions.
Recently, I had a conversation that highlighted this perfectly. A friend was dealing with a dismissive and egotistical manager. This reminded them of a difficult team lead from a previous job, who often took out personal frustrations on others. Only now, years later, can my friend see that the boss was in a bad place personally, which affected their behaviour at work.
Another friend has faced several difficult team leaders over seven years in various jobs. Though the current team leader is good, past experiences with a few bad apples have left a mark. It's a reminder that people often behave badly because they are in a bad place themselves.
Seeing my friends handle their emotions and reflect on the past made me realize the importance of patience and understanding. Not everyone is willing to look back and connect past experiences to present challenges. This skill can lead to personal growth and better relationships.
It's crucial to remember that dealing with difficult people is hard and sometimes harmful. However, these experiences can be learning opportunities. Good moments and positive people don't last forever, just like hard times.
A few steps for dealing with difficult people:
1. Stay calm, keep your cool and don’t react recklessly. Staying calm helps you think clearly.
2. Listen and pay attention to why they’re acting that way. Understanding their reasons can help you respond better.
3. Set boundaries and let them know what behaviour is okay and what isn’t. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries.
4. Pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the big issues that really matter.
5. Talk to trusted friends or mentors. They can offer new perspectives and helpful advice.
Let's take a moment to reflect on our past experiences and how they've shaped us. Patience and understanding can turn difficult situations into valuable learning opportunities.
I’ll leave you with something read recently:
Recently, I had a conversation that highlighted this perfectly. A friend was dealing with a dismissive and egotistical manager. This reminded them of a difficult team lead from a previous job, who often took out personal frustrations on others. Only now, years later, can my friend see that the boss was in a bad place personally, which affected their behaviour at work.
Another friend has faced several difficult team leaders over seven years in various jobs. Though the current team leader is good, past experiences with a few bad apples have left a mark. It's a reminder that people often behave badly because they are in a bad place themselves.
Seeing my friends handle their emotions and reflect on the past made me realize the importance of patience and understanding. Not everyone is willing to look back and connect past experiences to present challenges. This skill can lead to personal growth and better relationships.
It's crucial to remember that dealing with difficult people is hard and sometimes harmful. However, these experiences can be learning opportunities. Good moments and positive people don't last forever, just like hard times.
A few steps for dealing with difficult people:
1. Stay calm, keep your cool and don’t react recklessly. Staying calm helps you think clearly.
2. Listen and pay attention to why they’re acting that way. Understanding their reasons can help you respond better.
3. Set boundaries and let them know what behaviour is okay and what isn’t. Be consistent in enforcing these boundaries.
4. Pick your battles and don’t sweat the small stuff. Focus on the big issues that really matter.
5. Talk to trusted friends or mentors. They can offer new perspectives and helpful advice.
Let's take a moment to reflect on our past experiences and how they've shaped us. Patience and understanding can turn difficult situations into valuable learning opportunities.
I’ll leave you with something read recently:
"If you hate your career, spend your spare time becoming a new person. New skills, new knowledge, new opinions – a different take in a world of sameness. One change away from a different life."
~~~~~
Coming to RailsWorld?
Check out my series, Ahmed’s Unofficial RailsWorld Guide to Toronto! This first-of-its-kind guide is perfect for RailsWorld attendees. I write about the history of the amazing venue, Evergreen Brickworks, take you on a ride from the airport to the city, hotels and around, and explore Toronto's best spots to eat, visit, and have fun. Whether you're attending the conference or just visiting the city, you'll find something valuable.
Yours,
Ahmed Nadar