I saw a police van parked up the leafy street on my morning run a couple of days back. Front passenger door open, officer standing outside, seemingly waiting for something. Not a common sight on my jogging street.

As I approached without stopping, I caught his eye and blurted out - “All OK?” - with that universal question gesture. He smiled wide and nodded two quick nods, mumbling something like “all good here.”

That was it. They were just parked overnight on their rounds, about to head out. Nothing dramatic.

But I kept thinking about it. I’d just casually asked a police officer if everything was alright. Usually it’s the other way around - if you’re lucky to come across one of the nicer officers. For a moment, I saw another person instead of a uniform. Approached them as such. And got a genuine human response back.
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I’ve found myself doing this more often over the last few years and I’m not entirely sure when it started.

Walking into a doctor’s office, I’ll catch their eye mid-greeting and genuinely ask “how are you?” while they’re still in that passive, barely-acknowledging-your-presence mode. It catches them off-guard. They pause, look up, break out of the doctor-patient autopilot. Just for those few moments, we interact as people. Sets a completely different tone for everything that follows.

I’ve seen the pattern repeat in corporate setups, at army institutes, sometimes even in political settings. Lead with the human first, and the whole interaction shifts.
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Here’s where I still struggle though: art galleries when the artist is present.

I find it intimidating. I feel like my appreciation itself is being judged, because I’m still seeing them as “the artist” instead of just this fantastically interesting person who makes things. So I’ll hover near their work, trying to look contemplative, and then leave without saying anything.

But I’m working on it. Now when a photographer or artist is there - especially if they’re by themselves - I try to walk over and mention what caught my eye. More often than not, this leads somewhere interesting. I learn about their process, the behind-the-scenes of approaching galleries, setting it all up. Stuff I’d never know otherwise.

All from just saying hi.
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Sometimes it’s not even a role coming in the way of a natural interactions - just the awkwardness around strangers. A couple years back, at a public event, a complete stranger walked over and told me I had a lovely smile. Just like that.

That compliment stayed with me the entire day. Made everything a bit lighter.

I think about that sometimes. How we’ve trained ourselves to maintain this careful distance from strangers. Be polite but not too friendly. Acknowledge but don’t engage. Somewhere along the way, we’ve made even simple human moments feel risky.
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Most of our daily interactions are just role-playing games. We interact with The Doctor, The Police Officer, The Shopkeeper, The Artist - these designated characters we’re all performing. It’s efficient, sure. Gets us through the day.

But it’s also exhausting. And lonely.

The fix is stupidly simple: just stop doing it. See the person first. Lead with that.

I’m not saying have deep conversations with everyone. Just acknowledge the human in front of you. Ask them how they are. Compliment something if you genuinely like it. Be briefly, authentically present.

It still feels awkward sometimes. I still hesitate before approaching that artist. But that police officer smiled at me, the doctor paused and actually answered, strangers have made my day brighter with a single sentence.

I think that’s worth a little awkwardness.

So next time, walk over. Say something. Be yourself for a second. See what happens.

Amit
(building NextFive)