My post to the leaders in my company, BODi, that just announced a major restructuring from network mktg to affiliate. 

I’ve been around since the message board days, when we supported customers and each other for free, for community. 

If you are super angry, please skip my post. I’m not here to change your mind. I’ve just had some life experiences I want to share that are helping me move forward, so for those wanting to step forward with intention and power, that’s why I’m sharing. 

I’ve been a coach since the earliest sign up days. This has been a HUGE part of my life…not quite half, because I’m older than most here. My sons grew up in a Beachbody coach house…lol…My youngest learned how to count backwards from Tony Horton. 

My late husband, Dave, and I stepped into the network in 2007 with fear, and a scarcity mindset, and years of network marketing failure,  but yet a feeling of…what if we don’t do this? I took over building of our business, while he worked his FedEx job. I was homeschooling our boys and I was scared and awkward with prospecting and training. I just had my P90 and P90X story to share. 

Many of us are grieving now, with this sudden change. And, grieving is something I know. Dave and I grew big dreams as we grew our Beachbody team. Then, at the age of 58, he was diagnosed with young dementia-Alzheimer’s type. I was 54. I took care of him at home until the last 4 months of his life, at which time I paid over $10K a month, cash, for his care. 

4 years of grieving loss of a spouse, loss of dreams, loss of productivity, loss of all the things we planned for in our empty nest years, which had only just begun. I know grieving. 

My health took a dive, a common thing for full time caregivers, especially when caring for someone with dementia. 

I thought my life was over. About 2 years into caring for Dave, I felt small, scared, insignificant, unloved. It was at the start of year 3, that I decided I wasn’t going to be a caregiver statistic. I started hearing the words from years of personal development…’you are stronger than you think.’ 

I learned a lot during those years, looking back. But, one thing I told myself almost every day, was … ‘don’t get bitter…don’t stay bitter.’ There’s plenty to be angry about when your spouse of 38 years looks at you and asks who you are, when you can’t leave the house without someone else there, or even take a shower. I had to schedule showers, bathroom breaks, with anyone who would help. 

As I started to take my health back and heal my mind, I reminded myself…you are stronger than you know, don’t stay bitter, just don’t let yourself be bitter. And, I prayed and worked for resilience of mind. 

So, maybe that’s why, when I listened to Carl’s announcement on Monday, I sucked in a little…let myself be afraid, concerned for the welfare of my team and all my BODi friends, frustrated…..but not bitter. 

In losing my first husband, I learned that bitterness stops growth. Bitterness hides solutions and stops creativity. Bitterness eats away at my health. 

Here are the questions I’ve asked myself this week. What if? What’s the bigger future here? What have I prepared for all these years as a coach?  My expectations vs. my reality? I didn’t know what the next chapter would look like after my husband passed.  38 years is a long chapter. 18 years with Beachbody is a long chapter. I’m not closing the book with bitterness, I’m starting a new chapter. 

No matter what you do, whether you decide to be a BODi affiliate or change companies completely, don’t let bitterness lead guide you.