The new ideology of approaching relationships by being transparent and upfront at the beginning concerning the potential challenges young couples without a set career path and place to settle down will face. - Part 1 - by F.S.Pun, C.N.Ao

After observing how similar the rise and fall of over 100+ relationships are, we began to question whether love is the only thing we need to keep the relationship intact. We suggest that a flexible on-off relationship model based on transparent communication and consensus is a better option in the turmoil an opportunistic life will face during young adulthood than the traditional love-conquers-all model. 

Concerning the individual economy of a couple in their young adulthood, unlike married couples looking for a settlement, opportunities that would increase the ability to generate income, such as studying at a World’s Top 10 school, or working at a Forbes 500 company, are generally preferred even though long-distance relationships should likely result. Ambitions, future security, and explorations are one the many reasons that one party could take the opportunity at the cost of physical separation in a relationship. This dilemma between staying with your love and leaving temporarily for a better future for your love often throws young couples off-guards. Therefore, the typical response to such a dilemma is to continue the relationship with the highest hope and romantic vow in the name of love, even though it means a long-distance relationship ahead. The problem with this combination of wishful thinking and lofty spirit is to have the option of taking a step back from the relationship completely ignored, which often leads to a total burnout of an unprepared couple in the flame of love because love cannot bend reality. 

When the realization of a confrontation on how the relationship should be handled is realized, it is often mixed with the feeling that the relationship is not working out - by then, as the honeymoon period has gone, the tolerance of each other’s differences in values, behaviors, personality has been put into test. The accumulation of complaints or negative feelings about the other person ruins the premise of the dialogue when compared to the early days of the relationship or even before starting the relationship. Everything about the other one is perfect when a relationship is created, and there should not be a better premise to have an open conversation about how the couple should tackle potential challenges down the road, even at the cost of ruining the beautiful honeymoon sweetness in the atmosphere. Such a discussion could be mistaken as one being selfish or not loving the other enough. Therefore, this approach has a prerequisite of both parties in the relationship being mature enough and demands such an understanding of life. Otherwise, not just the option of taking a step back from the relationship would seem absurd, but the discussion itself should not be carried out. 

Consider how a better prediction of the future should be made. Even though the future contains uncertainty, the possibilities of events are not quality distributed. For example, in the case of my girlfriend, who relocates to Paris and knows nobody, she certainly needs to up her social game and grows her network in the beginning.  Is there a random chance strangers who are kind enough to give her a hand at a bus stop without her asking for a favor? Yes, but many 0.0001%. Of course, if this happens, nobody should be unhappy about it, and we should celebrate it. There is nothing to worry about it when it happens. However, if it does not occur, we should fear, then, about her situation of being helpless. I, as her boyfriend, should foresee this situation happening just as much as she should before her relocation. This sense of the likelihood of outcomes associated with different actions grows as a person matures. In the blood of a young, rebellious individual, it is likely to see an emphasis on the events with a very low possibility - one rebel may say, “We should not underestimate how kind and supportive people are. Some people are kind for no reason.”. Yes, but do not overestimate the number of them simultaneously.