Lately I’ve enjoyed using sports to get guys out of their element or get me out of mine, and I’ve learned some worthwhile lessons in the process.
Racquetball
Over the years, I have taught several guys how to play racquetball. It's a great game—when you're competent. I've previously written about some of the distinctions of the game here: Racquetball Preaching.
There's definitely a learning curve when you're beginning—this is especially pronounced if you're playing with someone who's experienced. It often takes a half dozen games for guys to begin anticipating how the ball will bounce. It takes them even longer to start figuring out competitive serves and technical shots. It takes them yet longer to realize that the real battle is not for the ball but for the middle of the court. Learning all of this is often slow and even frustrating, but it is oh so satisfying when progress becomes evident.
But the true test of the man is not in how much mastery he can gain. The true test is whether or not he perseveres when he is clearly out of his element. A man who faces his own incompetence—pressing into it and pushing past it with determination and joy in order to become more competent than he was before—is a real man. He is a man who is exercising dominion, that given to him by the LORD.
There's definitely a learning curve when you're beginning—this is especially pronounced if you're playing with someone who's experienced. It often takes a half dozen games for guys to begin anticipating how the ball will bounce. It takes them even longer to start figuring out competitive serves and technical shots. It takes them yet longer to realize that the real battle is not for the ball but for the middle of the court. Learning all of this is often slow and even frustrating, but it is oh so satisfying when progress becomes evident.
But the true test of the man is not in how much mastery he can gain. The true test is whether or not he perseveres when he is clearly out of his element. A man who faces his own incompetence—pressing into it and pushing past it with determination and joy in order to become more competent than he was before—is a real man. He is a man who is exercising dominion, that given to him by the LORD.
Basketball
I recently had the opportunity to face my own incompetence in a different game: basketball. After whooping these college guys on my home turf, I thought it only fair to visit theirs. It was evident that I had no idea what I was doing almost immediately: the basketball was passed to me, it slipped right through my hands, smashed into my face, and shattered my glasses.
After we picked up the pieces, I thought I was going to have to call it a day. I've had glasses since kindergarten; the world is blurry without them. But someone wondered if I could try playing anyway. After all, we had only just started.
So I pressed on, embracing the double incompetence of not knowing the game and not being able to see, and it actually resulted in a great time. In fact, I stunned everyone, even myself, when I made the game-winning three-point shot (I didn't know it was a three-pointer or that it would win the game at the time). Ironically, my shooting percentage seemed to be higher without glasses than with them.
But I wouldn’t have discovered any of this if I hadn’t stayed on the court. In order to grow comfortable on the basketball court, I had to embrace the discomfort.
After we picked up the pieces, I thought I was going to have to call it a day. I've had glasses since kindergarten; the world is blurry without them. But someone wondered if I could try playing anyway. After all, we had only just started.
So I pressed on, embracing the double incompetence of not knowing the game and not being able to see, and it actually resulted in a great time. In fact, I stunned everyone, even myself, when I made the game-winning three-point shot (I didn't know it was a three-pointer or that it would win the game at the time). Ironically, my shooting percentage seemed to be higher without glasses than with them.
But I wouldn’t have discovered any of this if I hadn’t stayed on the court. In order to grow comfortable on the basketball court, I had to embrace the discomfort.
Wrestling
Not long after my basketball experience, I had the opportunity to have a wrestling experience. This is another sport I know next to nothing about. Sure, I wrestled with my brother when we were boys, and I roll around on the floor with my daughters, but I have never officially competed. I never wrestled another grown man. I didn't know what I was getting into.
It wasn't a serious wrestling match. It was in my living room, and the goal was simply to remove both of my opponent’s socks. We were definitely in different weight classes, and I had the advantage. Neither of us really knew what we were doing, but both of us had a competitive spirit, so it seemed like anything could happen.
Even with my weight advantage, removing my friend's socks was not an easy feat (pun intended). It's one thing to pit your muscles against your own bodyweight or against the weight on a bar, but it's another thing to pit your muscles against another person's muscles. It's dynamic.
As we discussed afterward, wrestling doesn't allow you to get sloppy with your internal motivation. You can’t just ease up a little. If you do, you will meet the mat.
As valuable as cross country was to me in forming mental fortitude, I was only ever competing against myself (I was never fast enough to competitively race against others). There were times where I could allow myself to coast, and the only cost was a personal one. It's much easier to let yourself down than to have another throw you down. We're all quite competent at self-justification in any setting, but it's much easier to justify ourselves when it's just ourselves.
You can’t cut yourself the same slack in wrestling. If you do, it gives an opening to your opponent. You have to toughen up. You have to tough it out.
It wasn't a serious wrestling match. It was in my living room, and the goal was simply to remove both of my opponent’s socks. We were definitely in different weight classes, and I had the advantage. Neither of us really knew what we were doing, but both of us had a competitive spirit, so it seemed like anything could happen.
Even with my weight advantage, removing my friend's socks was not an easy feat (pun intended). It's one thing to pit your muscles against your own bodyweight or against the weight on a bar, but it's another thing to pit your muscles against another person's muscles. It's dynamic.
As we discussed afterward, wrestling doesn't allow you to get sloppy with your internal motivation. You can’t just ease up a little. If you do, you will meet the mat.
As valuable as cross country was to me in forming mental fortitude, I was only ever competing against myself (I was never fast enough to competitively race against others). There were times where I could allow myself to coast, and the only cost was a personal one. It's much easier to let yourself down than to have another throw you down. We're all quite competent at self-justification in any setting, but it's much easier to justify ourselves when it's just ourselves.
You can’t cut yourself the same slack in wrestling. If you do, it gives an opening to your opponent. You have to toughen up. You have to tough it out.
Try New Things and Keep Going
I’ve found myself much more open to new and unfamiliar experiences recently. Maybe this is because I have finally accepted that it’s natural to look like a fool when you’re learning. Or maybe it’s because I have good friends I can trust with trying. Or maybe it’s because I’m more sure of my identity in Christ than ever.
Whatever the reason, the lessons I’m learning are invaluable. It’s worth persevering through incompetence in order to gain competence. It’s worth temporary discomfort in an area to become more comfortable in the same. It’s worth tightening up internal motivation with external accountability to toughen up.
I look forward to discovering more lessons like these in the years ahead. There is so much to learn when we try new things and keep going. And this applies to more areas than just sports: handiwork, music, publishing, and even cooking come to mind as other areas I would like to pursue. Learning is wonderful because taking dominion is. God blesses it.
What new things are you trying and what are you learning?
