Author's Note: This letter was originally written before the birth of our first child, Martha Mercy, in November of 2021. Now, as we eagerly await the birth of our second here in August, I wanted to revisit this and publish it here.


Sweet and gracious Lauren,

Here we are, on the eve of parenthood—the cusp of a grand adventure! This adventure is unique in the fact that it unfolds with the growth of our little one, and, God willing, little twos and threes and fours and mores!

What an adventure it will be! It is of the best sort, the sort where the rewards will equal and even surpass the challenges. God is not sending us on this adventure haphazardly. No, he has a plan. He intends to reveal more of his heart and love for us as we love and care for this little one. He intends to shape and sanctify us and make us more like Christ as we parent. He intends for us to train, teach, and guide this child to walk with Jesus on the path of life. I’m praying it would be so.

I think it’s important for us both to realize—you the perfectionist and me the completionist—that God is going to accomplish these things and more in us and through us despite us. We are going to make mistakes—likely even fail. But our mistakes and failures won’t limit God. They will be the very things that God uses to teach us the most important lessons, and many of them will be the things that we look back on with the most laughs. That’s the power of God’s grace, and it is freeing.

Thankfully God doesn’t leave us to go at it alone. He has put his all-powerful Holy Spirit in us! He has given us his nourishing Word! He has surrounded us with our church family, Christ’s body! He has given me, you, my beautiful bride and best friend.

Even as I write and reflect on these truths, God is relaxing me of the tension and control I so often cling to. It is good to surrender to our King. It is good to trust our Savior.

I have a few more reflections… Bear with me. I can’t help myself.

It boggles my mind that we are made in God’s image. One aspect of being creatures created in the image of the Creator is that we create. This means that with time and thought and inspiration we can make a bunch of amazing things which point back to God in varying degrees. But it further boggles my mind when I realize that the best, most complicated thing we can ever create is the very thing that most reflects God, which also just so happens to be the very thing that relies on us the least. That’s humbling!

What I mean is that it takes very little brain power on our part when it comes to the designing a child. God is busy doing that. He’s the one building bones, knitting tissues, and firing neurons. He’s the one sparking the senses, crafting character, and prescribing passions. God is at work creating in you, and it’s just so wonderful to revel in the fact that God has invited us, his creation, to create more of his creation. It’s mind boggling. And this little life that God’s invited us to have a hand in creating and then stewarding is ultimately designed for his worship and his glory! Selah. 

I’m not trying to minimize the work you’ve done the past 9 months. I’ve lived with you during the entire process, and I still can’t fathom it. I love and cherish you deeply for it! You’ve been so intentional and so gracious during this season. While baby’s been growing, you’ve been glowing. It’s beautiful God has given you such a big part in creating and caring for his creation; it’s a role you’re so well equipped for in every way. 

It’s been a blessed season of patience, preparation, and planning. Now we’re nearing the end. A new season is about to begin!

One of these days very soon everything will change for us forever. It’s a day God smiled to choose before time began, and a day which we will add to our collection of oh-so-special days. I am grinning just imagining it, and I’m laughing at myself because I can scarcely imagine it! It’s going to be one of the richest, fullest, deepest, loveliest, and maybe even hardest days we’ve ever experienced together. But I’m so thankful I get to experience it with you. There’s no one better to share it with—living, lived, or yet to live—than you. That’s not just my heart-felt opinion but solid truth rooted in the sovereignty of God!

Out of all eternity—generation after generation, age after age—God has charted the course of time to arrive at this moment now. To you, God lovingly says, “Trust me. I am for you, and I am with you.” To our baby, he tenderly says, “I know you. I’ve been waiting for you. Welcome to the world.”

I love you, Lauren. I’m praying for you to continue to grow in maturity of faith and inner beauty. That already attracts me to you! I’m praying that God will be your rock and refuge not just in labor, but all your days with peace that passes understanding. I’m praying motherhood will make you even sweeter and more gracious than you already are, even more than what you’ve already been to me.

I love you, Sweet Pea. I’m praying for you to come to saving faith, and that you will love and trust Jesus more than anything else. I’m praying for you to grow strong in the Lord. I’m praying you will never forget his mercy and that you’ll grow wise in his ways. You will always be our beloved child.

I’m praying that God will enable me to be a good father, just as he is. I’m praying that he humbles me to rely on him in my family leadership and shows me how to guide our family to do his Kingdom work. I’m confessing and praying against my selfishness and asking instead that Jesus prepares my heart to sacrifice and serve, just like him. 

After all that, I think I owe you and Sweet Pea a whimsical poem and a silly doodle.

You have my love. 

Goody night,

Ave