I know it looks quite simple on the first look, but take a few minutes and actually consider a few of these streams. Look at the black ones on the left. One ended really early. Others made some significant jumps during some critical moments. Again others are moving relatively evenly. Now glance to the green ones on the right - imagine a scale of 0 to 10 on the X-Axis. Even from your vantage point today, you can still end up close to 0, close to 10 or anywhere in between! Nothing is ever said and done until it's said and done.
I personally reflect quite often whether where I am in life right now is where I want to be and whether the trajectory I am on is where I'd like to go. This diagram makes it so visceral that even a small decision today can lead to a totally different future. Not necessarily one you can predict, but certainly a trajectory you can hop on.
Let me show you another diagram I look at from tome to time: Each dot here depicts 1 week in your life, ending at 90 years of age at the bottom right. How far along are you in your life right now? To make it even more impactful, you could print this sheet out and colour in the boxes of the past. (More here in Tim Urban's fabulous blog post)
I am 38 as I am writing this. That's quite a chunk gone already. Remember, time is one of the few resources you can't buy more of, so it becomes really important to be intentional about the trajectory. Every wasted day is gone. Forever. Poof!
This puts things nicely in perspective, doesn't it?
Every morning you wake up with the possibility of a brand new day! Yes there are things already laid out for you, there are certain environmental factors you can't directly influence, things like the traffic that day, the weather, the amount of new covid infections in your city...
But
For every factor you don't have any influence on, there are a few you can actually tweak and move in a direction you prefer. Let's say you are stuck in a unfulfilling job which drains the life out of you. You probably can't just pick up and leave, there are probably bills to pay and mouths to feed. However you can start setting a goal, plotting a path, moving some items into action and create some traction. None of the good things will ever change overnight, but it's actually quite easy to make incremental progress on a major goal.
The important parts are: a) have a (written) plan b) move forward (even a tiny bit) every day c) reflect in regular intervals (ideally with someone)
Personally, I find it immensely useful to have a confidant who understands me on a deeper level to run these things by and hold me accountable to some progression. This could be a mentor, a coach, a friend, someone I can be open, transparent and vulnerable with. Someone who will not sugarcoat if I am being dumb, someone who's not going to make fun of my aspirations.
Thats's where coaching enters the picture. For me personally, coaching is this incredible tool to unlock seemingly impenetrable doors into the future. I have both, been coached towards unbelievable lightbulb moments and also coached people who have had major shifts in how they handle certain aspects of their life.
For me, coaching has turned into this humongous source of positive energy. It's a feeling deep within that this is something I am naturally quite talented in and also deeply passionate about.
So I've set the goal to pursue coaching as a serious passion, possibly a career in the future: a) the plan: I know that in order to be truly effective and successful with coaching, I will need to pursue a formal training and practice A LOT. So I have mapped out which online classes, trainings and reads I can do every week to learn more. In addition I did research into which certifications exist and how much they cost. I have spoken to a few people and gathered their opinions and finally settled on a program I will test out this spring.
b) moving forward: I am lucky in a way that my job allows me to coach on a daily basis. My workplace also offers programs to learn from seasoned coaches on how to do it right, get feedback, participate in trainings and refreshers. Google really understands the value of coaching for a large organisation and allows its employees to build and develop this skill. Additionally, I immerse myself in coaching related content e.g. books, podcasts, case studies etc. There is so much material out there. I think in order to move forward consistently, it's important to be in the right environment, surrounded by the right people.
c) reflecting: For that, I have regular and irregular meetings with a few people to keep me on track. Some people I meet on a weekly basis and this may be part of our weekly check-in, with others it's more of a monthly or even less regular thing. I believe that the important thing is to share the aspiration and make others part of it. However, even if I wasn't talking to anybody about it, I would still check in with myself on progress in regular intervals. Quarterly seems to be the sweet spot for me. What have I learned, what new questions do I have now, have there been any major lightbulb moments?
You may think now: "Ok, great Ben, you're doing all this stuff, but what gives you the certainty that it's actually the right thing to do and will make you reach your goals?"
My answer would be two fold: 1) The indicator on whether I am on the right trajectory is my own mental health and balance. If the things I pursue make me feel deeply relaxed paired with joy and this slight tickle of positive anxiety then I know I am moving in the right direction.
2) Nobody know what the future holds anyways, there is only so much we can control and lots is totally out of our hands. With this knowledge, we can take a deep breath, smile, fasten our seatbelt and jump! The thrill is in not knowing what's to come and doing it anyways.
Where are you at today? What are you moving towards?
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