If we are the navigators of our own fate, then the past is the wind in our sails.

It pushes us, often fights against us, and sometimes is at our back, pushing us ahead.

The past is hard to escape. Perhaps it's impossible. I don't know anyone who has ever left their past behind, not really. Most everyone is weighed down by parents they don't want to be like, a bad childhood, past decisions they would like changed, the unholy pull of that which should be left behind.

But it's hard to leave it behind, near impossible to forget. I remember the moments a love one screamed at me, when I farted in the third grade and everyone knew, when I was learning Spanish and instead of saying I was a little hungry, said I had a little penis. The inconveniences of growing up, of learning.

More insidious are the influences on our present. For many people these are their parents. Even if you had great parents, you probably don't want to be exactly like them. But it's hard not to be like them, they taught you what they knew. Genetics aren't destiny, but they are where we all start, and you started dang close to the people who made you. Your apple didn't fall far. And at the same time, it's normal to want to be your own person.

It's hard to be different. And it will take you longer to different from your past than it would take someone else who started in a different place (but of course they have their own baggage, and it sucks at least as bad as yours).

Your past is not your future. It's not even your present. Genetics aren't destiny. If you want to be different, you can be. You'll need patience.