Finally, I'm "40 under 40". 40 days to my 40th birthday that is, not the Forbes award. I won't lie that the number weighs on me, 40 years old is a big number.
Entering the 20s was all about new worlds to explore. Life looked amazing, infinite, boundless. There wasn't much thought of who I wanted to be, other than a scientist. That was the plan and that was the path, starting from my little corner of a rural village in northern Spain. Whatever it took. Move to the Canary Island to do Astrophysics? Check. Apply for a PhD I surely won't get? Check. Pass the last uni exam at the last minute so I can accept the PhD position I somehow got? Check. Move to Germany without speaking a word of German? Check. Travel throughout Europe on a budget? Check. I was extremely opinionated as an atheist scientist, and I had a ton of fun as a graduate student in Gottingen, the perfect city for that decade. I made true friendships across Europe that I still keep today. It was also the decade I realized that my understanding of what science should be didn't agree if what the world says. I felt research and academia could not be all that science is, I knew I had to steer away to find my path, but I was smart enough to enjoy the ride before jumping off the train: I finished my PhD, and accepted a postdoc as rocket scientist in Washington DC, knowing I would probably not finish it. I was also part of the astronaut selection process and was considering a job at fancy global consulting firm. I happily headed to DC, the world felt full of possibilities and time. I would figure out what Science meant for me. I wrapped my 20s as I decided to jump the academic train, without a plan B, without a visa, into the unknown, ready to adjust and learn. Aptly, I finished my 20s skydiving (twice), which was a crazy and boundless experience I loved.
The 30s, which end in 40 days, definitely were all about my professional growth. I had huge ambitions and either a lot of self-confidence, or stupidity, to blindly follow that nagging feeling of science beyond research, wherever it took. If I had to see a pattern of my 30s it would full commitment to that quest, and zero commitment to everything else. On my 30s I got at least three dream jobs that I leaned on to move forward along that weird science path, with a rough compass, but without much plan: Rocket Scientist, Chief Scientist at a Silicon Valley Mapbox, staff at the World Bank, nomad around the world, working in rural Bhutan and the Balkans with no pay for months, running for political office campaigning on the streets, freelance consultant charging 1.5k€/day to compensate... I've dined with the richest people in the world in their literal palace, and I´ve enjoyed the warm generosity of the poorest people in the world of food and floor to sleep in. I´ve traveled to more than 50 countries in that decade. This has been an incredibly fulfilling decade, in the professional sense. Health-wise I suffered a couple of scares to keep me grounded, but managed to be quite healthy, mostly vegan, to run 5 marathons and one Ironman. As professionally uncompromising as I was, it was also increasingly lonely and unhappy personally. I was unable to commit to anything or anyone that wasn't on the path of figuring out what kind of science I wanted to be part of. This personal void and loneliness was something I would chat quite often with, paradoxically, the truly global network of friends I was lucky to have as support network.
As If on cue for the 40s, the last 3 years changed everything. I think I've finally found the answer to my science quest. I've managed to write a book to explain it. The book I wish I could have read on my 20s. I've also read several books that have really impacted my professional and moral compas, and my philosophy of life. May be it wasn't the books but the time I read them. In any case I'm listing them below. I found a fantastically appropriate job to pursue my civic and professional goals of socioeconomic and environmental sustainability, technology, and science. Almost as if created for me. Most importantly, and weirdly during an Artic expedition, I found someone I was willing to commit to unconditionally. Surprinsigly, so she was. We kept on travelling the world, until the dark shadows of pandemic blanket covered the world. The long isolation helped us grow as a couple, and we got legally married at the first chance we had.
I´ve learnt that awards, like Forbes "40 under 40" that quips this blog title, used to be recognitions but have become perverse goals in themselves. A market with sellers and buyers, where both sides feed from the gains of the other. Awardees help awards grow, and viceversa. I believe that no one is more famous than they want to be. Many are less famous than they want, but whatever fame anyone has, it´s sought. Fame is sometimes useful or even needed. I´ve needed "my fame" of awards and interviews to get my O1 visa, or to help secure some professional goals. As much as fame helps achieve a goal, it´s desirable. For example, I believe Greta and Malala, do seek their fame, as they recognize it´s helpful to drive the change they want in the world in education and environment. Influencers, politicians and profesional speakers also need the fame, as their income directly depends on it. But I´ve also met several truly "famous" people and they all recounted a feeling of slavery from the algorithm of fame, be it TikTok, keynotes or TV.
I look forward the 40s with a sense of calmness, self-confidence, and deep content I have never felt. I'm still afraid of death and sad about how old 40s sounds. I want to share and enjoy life with my partner, and the arrival of our first son. There's so much more I want to do in life, and life doesn't seem infinite anymore. I don't take anything I have for granted and I enjoy life as if it won't last. I know I often could have done things better in the past, but I'm glad of the path taken, as I've learnt a lot, and I wouldn't change any of it.
On this day that awards my "40 under 40" I share these thought, that I hope help others reflect, as this 40 number has forced me to.
If you are curious of the books I mentioned I feel significantly contributed to my current moral compass, here they are. I'd love to hear your opinion, or what else I should read:
My attitude towards life:
A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine
Despite the cheesy title, this is a good intro to stoicism. I've been amazed how a lot of my innate behaviors are actually stoic principles: Visualize worst-case scenarios to help confront reality, self-impose hardship to enjoy the little things, remove external motivators, minimalism, ... It's fair to say I've been a stoic for years without realizing it, till recently.
Entering the 20s was all about new worlds to explore. Life looked amazing, infinite, boundless. There wasn't much thought of who I wanted to be, other than a scientist. That was the plan and that was the path, starting from my little corner of a rural village in northern Spain. Whatever it took. Move to the Canary Island to do Astrophysics? Check. Apply for a PhD I surely won't get? Check. Pass the last uni exam at the last minute so I can accept the PhD position I somehow got? Check. Move to Germany without speaking a word of German? Check. Travel throughout Europe on a budget? Check. I was extremely opinionated as an atheist scientist, and I had a ton of fun as a graduate student in Gottingen, the perfect city for that decade. I made true friendships across Europe that I still keep today. It was also the decade I realized that my understanding of what science should be didn't agree if what the world says. I felt research and academia could not be all that science is, I knew I had to steer away to find my path, but I was smart enough to enjoy the ride before jumping off the train: I finished my PhD, and accepted a postdoc as rocket scientist in Washington DC, knowing I would probably not finish it. I was also part of the astronaut selection process and was considering a job at fancy global consulting firm. I happily headed to DC, the world felt full of possibilities and time. I would figure out what Science meant for me. I wrapped my 20s as I decided to jump the academic train, without a plan B, without a visa, into the unknown, ready to adjust and learn. Aptly, I finished my 20s skydiving (twice), which was a crazy and boundless experience I loved.
The 30s, which end in 40 days, definitely were all about my professional growth. I had huge ambitions and either a lot of self-confidence, or stupidity, to blindly follow that nagging feeling of science beyond research, wherever it took. If I had to see a pattern of my 30s it would full commitment to that quest, and zero commitment to everything else. On my 30s I got at least three dream jobs that I leaned on to move forward along that weird science path, with a rough compass, but without much plan: Rocket Scientist, Chief Scientist at a Silicon Valley Mapbox, staff at the World Bank, nomad around the world, working in rural Bhutan and the Balkans with no pay for months, running for political office campaigning on the streets, freelance consultant charging 1.5k€/day to compensate... I've dined with the richest people in the world in their literal palace, and I´ve enjoyed the warm generosity of the poorest people in the world of food and floor to sleep in. I´ve traveled to more than 50 countries in that decade. This has been an incredibly fulfilling decade, in the professional sense. Health-wise I suffered a couple of scares to keep me grounded, but managed to be quite healthy, mostly vegan, to run 5 marathons and one Ironman. As professionally uncompromising as I was, it was also increasingly lonely and unhappy personally. I was unable to commit to anything or anyone that wasn't on the path of figuring out what kind of science I wanted to be part of. This personal void and loneliness was something I would chat quite often with, paradoxically, the truly global network of friends I was lucky to have as support network.
As If on cue for the 40s, the last 3 years changed everything. I think I've finally found the answer to my science quest. I've managed to write a book to explain it. The book I wish I could have read on my 20s. I've also read several books that have really impacted my professional and moral compas, and my philosophy of life. May be it wasn't the books but the time I read them. In any case I'm listing them below. I found a fantastically appropriate job to pursue my civic and professional goals of socioeconomic and environmental sustainability, technology, and science. Almost as if created for me. Most importantly, and weirdly during an Artic expedition, I found someone I was willing to commit to unconditionally. Surprinsigly, so she was. We kept on travelling the world, until the dark shadows of pandemic blanket covered the world. The long isolation helped us grow as a couple, and we got legally married at the first chance we had.
I´ve learnt that awards, like Forbes "40 under 40" that quips this blog title, used to be recognitions but have become perverse goals in themselves. A market with sellers and buyers, where both sides feed from the gains of the other. Awardees help awards grow, and viceversa. I believe that no one is more famous than they want to be. Many are less famous than they want, but whatever fame anyone has, it´s sought. Fame is sometimes useful or even needed. I´ve needed "my fame" of awards and interviews to get my O1 visa, or to help secure some professional goals. As much as fame helps achieve a goal, it´s desirable. For example, I believe Greta and Malala, do seek their fame, as they recognize it´s helpful to drive the change they want in the world in education and environment. Influencers, politicians and profesional speakers also need the fame, as their income directly depends on it. But I´ve also met several truly "famous" people and they all recounted a feeling of slavery from the algorithm of fame, be it TikTok, keynotes or TV.
I look forward the 40s with a sense of calmness, self-confidence, and deep content I have never felt. I'm still afraid of death and sad about how old 40s sounds. I want to share and enjoy life with my partner, and the arrival of our first son. There's so much more I want to do in life, and life doesn't seem infinite anymore. I don't take anything I have for granted and I enjoy life as if it won't last. I know I often could have done things better in the past, but I'm glad of the path taken, as I've learnt a lot, and I wouldn't change any of it.
On this day that awards my "40 under 40" I share these thought, that I hope help others reflect, as this 40 number has forced me to.
If you are curious of the books I mentioned I feel significantly contributed to my current moral compass, here they are. I'd love to hear your opinion, or what else I should read:
My attitude towards life:
A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine
Despite the cheesy title, this is a good intro to stoicism. I've been amazed how a lot of my innate behaviors are actually stoic principles: Visualize worst-case scenarios to help confront reality, self-impose hardship to enjoy the little things, remove external motivators, minimalism, ... It's fair to say I've been a stoic for years without realizing it, till recently.
Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise and Other Bribes by Alfie Kohn
Despite how much we seem to like positive external motivators like rewards, bonuses, incentives, high grades ... and how much we hate negative external motivators like fines, punishments, and low grades, ... there's a much better way: intrinsic motivation. External motivators become transactional, expected, and makes us assess the things we should do by the rewards we get. We get accustomed to them and they trick us to trick ourselves. Internal motivators are self-reinforcing, durable and adaptable. This book is a fantastic narrative on why we intrinsically care, and why we should keep it that way.
These next two I bundle, and they connect to the one above, as the power of every human to endure from within, even in the grimmest circumstances of Nazi concentration camps. From that experience, Frankl developed Logotherapy which is a philosophy of life which puts finding meaning of your life at the center.
Night (The Night Trilogy, #1) by Elie Wiesel
Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl
One quote that still echoes in my mind:
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life by Marshall B. Rosenberg
I've use the teaching of this book with surprising regularity. It really helps uncover frustrations, defuse polarizing arguments, and even reflect our own misguided feelings. Among these learnings: you are responsible for your feelings, no one else. Negative feelings respond to unmeet needs, so focusing on those is better than focusing on how or why we feel what we feel. At the core, people want to be witnessed, for their needs to be heard. Avoid judgment or opinions when we share our needs, focus on observations and facts.
Specifically the research by the Gottmans Institute (a couple that are also researchers and run an Institute counseling relations). One of their key insights is that there seems to be a high correlation of a successful marriage with having a 85%+ positive response to “microbids”. A microbid is a small gesture like “Good morning”, “Hey did you see how beautiful the weather is today?”, or “Look at that baby!”. A positive response is simply acknowledging it with a moment of attention. While the research data is limited here, this behaviour alone predicts 80% of divorces in their studies following newly weds over 9 years.
“Attached”
I can summarize the book as: research suggest that some people need close attachments, and some not. Babies and kids also behave like this. When a relationship is between one of each kind, the person needing close attachment will seek a small confirmation of affection. When the other person dismisses it (as they don’t need it), the first person -annoyed and hurt- will keep increasing the demand of affection in one way or another, while the other will increasingly deflect, both annoyed the other person doesn’t respect their needs. The approach here is that if the initial small bid of attention is met (a comment, a hug, a moment’s full attention, a kiss … ), it won’t escalate, and both people will have their attachment styles and needs met. In other words, very similar to Gottman’s finding.
I can summarize the book as: research suggest that some people need close attachments, and some not. Babies and kids also behave like this. When a relationship is between one of each kind, the person needing close attachment will seek a small confirmation of affection. When the other person dismisses it (as they don’t need it), the first person -annoyed and hurt- will keep increasing the demand of affection in one way or another, while the other will increasingly deflect, both annoyed the other person doesn’t respect their needs. The approach here is that if the initial small bid of attention is met (a comment, a hug, a moment’s full attention, a kiss … ), it won’t escalate, and both people will have their attachment styles and needs met. In other words, very similar to Gottman’s finding.
The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
I've spiritually grown a lot since I met my wife. Rumi, Sufism and in particular this book, has helped me a lot understand the value of spiritualism.
Waking Up: A Guide to Spirituality Without Religion by Sam Harris
I've come to value religion highly in several aspects. The religious moral compass of most denominations I've known usually points in the same direction mine does [be kind to each other, respect others and the world, seek meaning and tranquility, ... ]. I also love the sense community within a church, and I've come to appreciate the value of seeking the meaning of our lives, the depths of our minds, and how much we can learn from religions and our own introspection. This book covers many parts of this struggle as a spiritual atheist.
The state of this world underpinned by Science:
The Wizard and the Prophet: Two Remarkable Scientists and Their Dueling Visions to Shape Tomorrow’s World by Charles C. Mann
As a scientist involved in environmental challenges, this is an absolute must read. It tells the real story of two famous scientists with opposing views. One a "tree-hugger" nature-loving anti-technologist who shows how any hunger in efficiency leads to more usage and more impact in natural resources. The other, a techno-fan who thinks that for every problem in the world, science and technology will find a solution. They both tackle climate change, agriculture and helping the poor. They both become extremely succeful. And their success has dark shadows that validate the opposite approach.
Humankind: A Hopeful History by Rutger Bregman
This is a fantastically motivating book about the positive innate bias of human behavior. In a world with increasing polarization, a history of wars and terrorism, nationalism and other devils, it's incredibly powerful to learn about how humankind is actually kind by nature. If you read Factfulness it's similarly uplifting, if you haven't read it, do! :)
This is a fantastically motivating book about the positive innate bias of human behavior. In a world with increasing polarization, a history of wars and terrorism, nationalism and other devils, it's incredibly powerful to learn about how humankind is actually kind by nature. If you read Factfulness it's similarly uplifting, if you haven't read it, do! :)
The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark by Carl Sagan
I absolutely love Sagan. While I've come to find him a bit absolutist of science beyond any other consideration, this book is a fantastic foreshadowing of what's happening with fakenews.
Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong—and the New Research That's Rewriting the Story by Angela Saini
This books opens the blind door that science has kept mostly closed. We've studied men much more than women, and that has huge consequences that we only recently starting to realize.
I absolutely love Sagan. While I've come to find him a bit absolutist of science beyond any other consideration, this book is a fantastic foreshadowing of what's happening with fakenews.
Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong—and the New Research That's Rewriting the Story by Angela Saini
This books opens the blind door that science has kept mostly closed. We've studied men much more than women, and that has huge consequences that we only recently starting to realize.
The Fifth Risk: Undoing Democracy by Michael Lewis
This might only apply for scientists who want to understand the value of their presence in governments, and how Trump's mishandling serves to articulate such case.
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
This should be required reading in schools.
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan
It's baffling we still don't understand the food-health link. So much science, yet so little is clear. This books tries to bring clarity of this topic and offers IMO the best advice: "Eat food, mostly plants, not much".
Thank You for Being Late: An Optimist's Guide to Thriving in the Age of Accelerations by Thomas L. Friedman
"knowledge is only good if you can reflect on it.”
This might only apply for scientists who want to understand the value of their presence in governments, and how Trump's mishandling serves to articulate such case.
A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
This should be required reading in schools.
In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto by Michael Pollan
It's baffling we still don't understand the food-health link. So much science, yet so little is clear. This books tries to bring clarity of this topic and offers IMO the best advice: "Eat food, mostly plants, not much".
Thank You for Being Late: An Optimist's Guide to Thriving in the Age of Accelerations by Thomas L. Friedman
"knowledge is only good if you can reflect on it.”