Cam Pak

January 6, 2023

Daydream — You are Now a Sheep • 5 min read

This morning my Quiet Time reading was in Luke 15. If ever there's a chapter in the Bible that feels like a huge hug when you didn't feel you deserved it, it's this one.

Now, instead of just reading Luke 15 and letting a story be a story, daydream it.

Daydream being a sheep, instead of counting sheep

I am a sheep. (A very baaaaad sheep — haha, kidding). I am a sheep. I see other sheep. I really like the shepherd. He feeds me. Holds me. Gives me really all I need. Sometimes I get distracted and he puts me back on the path. And, even while there's 100 of us, when I'm with him, he is 100% present with me. Home is with the shepherd. Home is with my other sheep. I'm content.

Then, one day while we're being herded, I saw this shiny thing in the trees. Without a thought, I went to it. What is it? A coin? (Wait… I'm a sheep, I don't know what a coin is.) Ooh, more trees. I kept on keeping on. Then I saw bunnies and squirrels running around. I found a stream of water, and it was honestly really refreshing. I realized I was away from the herd, but I knew I wasn't far from them. (Little did I know hours had passed on by.) After eating some berries off a bush, I started to feel sick to my stomach. So, I decided to find my way back home. I think I knew saw this tree before. I followed it, and then off to another tree. And to another tree. They all started to look the same. With a little bit of panic, I started to run. I didn't know what else to do. My head started to feel faint and stomach nauseous. thump. thump. thump. My heart beat rose and rose. And thwap! I tripped over a branch and hurt the crap out of my leg. The sun was dwindling, it was getting colder, and I felt stuck.

I felt lost.

Meanwhile, the shepherd was looking for Cam the sheep. He knew me by name and knew I was not with him. So, with a hopeful yet heavy heart, he sanctioned off the 99 sheep and went looking for me. He knew I had a tendency to get distracted and lost into the woods. And almost with the same rhythm of thump, thump, thump, went the shepherd's heart as he ran through the dark forest looking for his lost sheep.

Wait… What was that? I heard something. Great… a predator to attack just when I'm at my worst! It shouts "CAM!". (You know, that's a weird noise for a predator to make. I'm not here to judge any wild beasts out there, but their roar kind of sounded like my name.) It runs closer and closer, and lifts me up into the air. At that point, I was hurting, cold, and alone. By any definition, I was probably going to die anyways. So I gave up and gave into whatever natural selection would do to me. 

And as I was being brought down, I knew it was the end. I said a quick sheep prayer …and was gently laid around the shoulders of my shepherd! How in the world did he find me? "I am so happy I found you. I love you so much," he just kept repeating and even almost singing. And at that point he realized I hurt my leg, and bandaged me up. 

I couldn't believe it. He went looking for me. I kind of fell into all of this, and I thought I was left for dead. And I was rescued. No, I deserved to die out there. I owe him everything. 

Before I knew it, we were back on the field. I see my brothers and sisters who were so worried about me while I was gone. And, I see their sincere eyes and full hearts as my hero comes walking in with me on his shoulders. I felt on top of the world. You know, I was lost, but then I was …home. I was found. And we threw a big party and sang in the best way that sheep do.

God loves his children and goes after the lost one. No one is ever too far or too lost to be found by the God who embraces and sings over them.

This story reminds me of how I went from one distraction to another, to another, and yet to another, only to find myself anxious, hurting, and feeling alone. God came after me through the loving arms and words of his people and through the Bible. In times where I didn't feel like I deserved to be accepted or didn't feel enough, God ran after me with fierce love in his eyes.

He cares so deeply for you. And even more than my words, He will show that to you.

You can count on God. You are never too far. You have never traveled too far away from His love. And even if you don't think you deserve His love, that's okay. You don't. If you've done any wrong against God or his people, and we have, we deserve separation from God.

I deserve to be in the wilderness just out of my mind, hurting, crying and feeling alone and outcast. But God had a different plan. Instead of me just patching myself up, reading books on how to "do better", and buckling my bootstraps to "become my best self", so that I can be loved, God loved first. And He came for you and I through Jesus, so that we could come home.

— from Cam Pak, a very baaaaad sheep 😂🐑

About Cam Pak

My desire is to love God and love people without distraction, and help others do the same.

My beautiful wife, our doggos, and many of our friends and family enjoy life in Edmond, Oklahoma.