We recently started fostering two joy-filled, beautiful toddlers, full of personality and so much love. What's been wild is seeing how different they are, even though they're twins! One is seemingly independent and boisterous, while the other is shy and loves to be held.

When something doesn't go as expected in their mind, they begin to cry and scream. It could be that they wanted a toy, a hug, their bottle, or their "bink bink" (which is toddler for blanket, haha). They are absolutely controlled by their emotions.

Healthy emotional regulation will develop over time. Resilience and ability to be grounded against adversity will grow in them, as we teach them and love on them.

If our foster toddlers are on the right side, controlled by their emotions, I think I'm on the exact opposite side where I instead stuff my emotions and do not feel them.

While my approach is more publicly accepted, it's worse than being on the other end of the pendulum. One addresses emotions and one tries to act like they don't exist. The one who expresses emotions, even if in unhealthy ways, have taken time to feel the emotion. A felt emotion is one that is dealt with. The one who hides the emotion, suppresses it. But it doesn't just go away. The physical body keeps the score of that. (I mean… I have no doubt that contributed to my health being so whack.)

Emotions are a bodily signal that should be addressed. I want to grow in being able to name and address what emotions I'm feeling. For example, while writing this I actually feel pretty physically sick (due to some fever or something), and I think I feel tired and also very content and mildly curious.