There’s a time for everything. A time to push, push, push. A time to relent from pushing and to rest. A time to just be here, now. 

Over the past few months, my health has been more on the downhill. That is caused me to try to “fix” the situation so that I can continue doing the stuff I was doing before. 

I guess I just wanted everything to seem okay. 

I began to realize that me caffeinating and using pain meds to hide and mask the pain would only take me so far. I was pushing. And I became so anxious and stressed out.

I lost ability for contentment, because I didn’t trust or believe that God gave me enough energy to do the things he wanted me to do that day. That somehow it was up to me to figure it out. I mean I’ve been praying for years to be healed…

And then I felt the Holy Spirit tell me, “rest”. It’s time to let my body rest. No more cheap fixes. To allow myself to feel the pain so I can recognize where I’ve been striving and rest whenever necessary.

God has given me enough energy for today and he is my source of strength, not caffeine or pain meds. 

Excited for the healing to come, in Jesus’ name!