Casey Grisez

December 1, 2022

Sticky Notes Lesson #20 - Earn It

I signed up for a month-long, email-based writing course from Cole Schafer of Sticky Notes, Honey Copy, and Chasing Hemingway fame.

He sends a lesson and prompt every day. I have 10 minutes to read and consider the prompt, 40 minutes to write, and 10 minutes to edit before posting publicly.

I’m posting here to not drown my Casey's Notes content. On to day 20...

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In spite of thousands of books, blogs, articles, and podcasts, nobody can prepare you to become a parent. Every parent is different and every baby is different. Parents and babies can be patient or impatient, easy or fussy, calm or anxious.

And sometimes, every feeling is doubled when you find out you're having twins. Today's writing prompt is to write about something I'm thankful for that I had to earn. It took a few months in the trenches, but I eventually became grateful for my twins.

We were lucky that the boys were relatively easy babies. They were healthy as can be, slept fine (especially when we got the Snoo, parenting's cheat code), and both had good dispositions. They were happy kids. We have tons of pictures of them as smiling, chubby-cheeked babies.

But parenting is hard. First-time parenting is harder. Parenting twins is harder still. Being first time-parents with twins is like starting out skiing on a double black diamond.

To say it was a challenge is an understatement. Unlike parents of singletons, there was no time off. We were both involved in every feeding, every diaper change, every spit-up. While many parents coo at this little bundle of responsibility as the thing that completed them, I looked at the boys as the reason I didn't eat my first meal until after 7pm the first 10 days they were home.

At least at first. Eventually, I got used to the schedule and the responsibility, and realized it's not about me. I chose the responsibility of parenting and I needed to step up. As they got even older, seeing them become playmates and friends has been amazing. Parenting became rewarding, and I'm now grateful that I got to be a part of every feeding, diaper change, and spit-up.

I wasn't a natural parent, but it's been an incredible experience to see the boys grow up. And the feeling will intensify as the boys get older. It took a few times flipping over my skis and tumbling down the double black diamond, but I'm now thankful that's where the ski lift dropped me off.