May 9, 2022



When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping."
—Mr. Rogers

On Tuesday evening, I went to CVTC's Advocate Certification Ceremony (the 25th!). I had spent the day in a daze, reeling from the news about the Supreme Court's forthcoming decision and its impact on Roe v. Wade. The above quote was offered as a small comfort to ease the brutality of the news, and also as a renewing of hope in the people and communities around us who are helping, supporting, and doing the work, while governance and institutions fail women, fail us.



an example of how teen girls instinctively felt that there was something wrong in the world, but lacked access to a vocabulary or knowledge to accurately describe it. Instead, they performed fangirlishness as a socially acceptable mode of resisting and expressing their frustration, their dissatisfaction...the hysteria and projective violence of extreme fangirlishness as a sublimation of an emergent revolutionary spirit.
I recently saw James McAvoy in Cyrano (a captivating imagining of the Cyrano story, catch it if you can!), and was reminded of how obsessed I used to be with him in high school. Sitting in a playhouse where he commanded the stage had my 16-year-old inner stan absolutely squueeealing. I found myself thinking about where those obsessive tendencies have since been directed within me, but also how comforting and escapist they were when I was a teen.
Separately, I've been impressed, awed, and a little confused by the way gen z's organize political actions within stan circles (see examples here and here). 
The analysis above from Trisha Low felt incredibly on point and elucidating for all these dynamics I have felt and experienced, but could never explain or articulate.


A warming of the air

Among the biggest surprises for me in recent years has been the discovery of a new and undramatic happiness. I'm basically a believer in temperament, that our emotional thermostats are set early in life, and that despite passing peaks and valleys, they're more or less fixed. But life with my partner, in which the first and last act of each day is a habitual acknowledgment of love—a hug, a caress—has caused a minor but durable shift in the weather, a warming of the air by a degree or two. 
Garth Greenwell 

Appreciating within this quote how my definition and experience of love has changed over time.


Don't f**k with chaos

I fully cleaned house on that type of behavior. I make sure that, at this point in my life, I just don't fuck with chaos.
Natasha Lyonne
While I used to thrive in chaos, this recent snippet from Natasha Lyonne resonated with how I'm seeking more and more peace and clarity in life. She's lent a useful defiance in the ongoing project of living better.
Which isn't to say I don't have a fair amount of inherent chaos as a part of my personality, I definitely do. Just not going to seek out more, as I consciously or subconsciously used to... 


A final note

Wishing a very happy mother's day to the people who mother, who nurture, who protect, who birth; who create safe, warm, cozy spaces 🏡