Grocery Buddies.
Late October, 2025, I received a phone call from some good friends, inviting me to join a local volunteer group called “Grocery Buddies." They bring families that are in dire need of food relief due to the shutdown of SNAP benefits, together with families that can help.
So I did.
This group makes the connections only. I was asked to fill out a brief bio. As were the other folks. Mostly about location and language. We try to meet in real life, but we can do this online. Then I was given the choice to pick one family out of three.
So I did.
Some just go to the grocery store together and help shop.
Some go and bring gift cards.
Some do the shopping for those that can't.
Some just give gift cards.
Some buddy up to go to food banks.
The whole deal is based on face-to-face help.
This encourages privacy.
This overcomes the stigma of being needy.
This is that story (names and locations changed).
We met in town at a park, a blustery fall day. But not raining. We had spoken on the phone, and I described what I would be wearing. They picked a spot near a swing set and playground. It all felt a bit like a spy story. I will call them James and Linda, with 3 kids, the oldest about 7, and the second very shy, but not the smallest one, she was instantly all over me, grabbing my hands and asking me 100 questions. This broke the ice and put us all at ease.
These are what economists call the working poor. But the first thing that becomes obvious is that they do not think of themselves as poor at all. It was their church that put them in touch with the “Grocery Buddy" list. They were reluctant but also pragmatic. Trust comes with caution. Yet help is help. After the introductions, I brought up privacy and confidentiality. Assuring them of that. This caused a big sigh from Linda, as she let go of some fear or other.
James works on a landscaping crew. Linda is a home care assistant. They both work full time, and an older aunt takes up the childcare slack. We will be doing some shopping for her also. They are more or less happy and seem to care a great deal for each other. Like all working families, they are exhausted. A bit confused about the politics of this. But also loving and kind parents. We sit and talk for a long time. Asking comes hard for them, offering comes easily for me. So we work out some details.
They were surprised that I was not rich. They thought this might be what some call "charity theatre," rich folk helping poor folk to make themselves feel less guilty. We laughed about this. They said back home there was a lot of that. I did not ask where back home was. But I was honest about what I could spend and what help I could give. I think I have met some new friends. As we walked out of the park, James asked about my truck, an old Toyota, and so we talked about trucks for a bit. They drove an old beat-up minivan that he hates. But he then shrugged, “What can you do?”
I will pick them up next week in the late evening, and we will go food shopping at the 24-hour big, worker-owned supermarket. We both agreed that it had the best price and selection around.
(I will add more to this next week.)
About a week later
So yesterday evening at about 8 pm I drove into town and picked up James and Linda. Both insisted on coming with. Linda is the main cook in the family, James does most of the shopping. As he gets off work first. They are in good spirits as the word got around their church that this Grocery Buddies thing was a good deal and could be trusted.
First they are amazing food shoppers. They had lists. And meal plans, and coupons. They knew the store layout. We talked a lot about food, and meals. As we walked the aisles. Before we went inside I handed them 2 in store gift cards I had bought earlier on my way into town. I said you can buy whatever you want, use 1 or both cards. Each had $100.00 on them. They were probably getting a little over $300.00 in SNAP benefits a month. I never asked, but that was the going rate for a family of 5, that paid about than half their income on rent and utilities.
Linda was definitely in charge. Stopping often to check the meal plans, and silently calculating prices. James was sort of the kids advocate, making sure they got their favorites. He also got very quiet when he saw the meat prices. So he and I talked steak, nostalgically. By now we were just friends shopping. I pushed a cart, and bought some things I needed. As we all checked out, and bagged our groceries. The mood got a bit somber.
What was the future? We were all thinking it.
I snuck in three small gifts for the kids.
Made sure they got into James and Linda's bags.
🙏
(later)
Note:
I want to follow up a bit about this. Because I got some criticism from some online folks. Yes James and Linda and their kids are American citizens, all born here. No I did not ask for proof. I don't give a fuck. Why the hell should this matter?
No I was not exaggerating their poverty. There are millions of working Americans paying more than half their income in rent and utilities. Look it up. And finally, no I am not rich, that $200.00 came from my savings. I am retired living on Social Securty and a small pension. I actually qualify for a very small amount of SNAP benefits myself.
....
Late October, 2025, I received a phone call from some good friends, inviting me to join a local volunteer group called “Grocery Buddies." They bring families that are in dire need of food relief due to the shutdown of SNAP benefits, together with families that can help.
So I did.
This group makes the connections only. I was asked to fill out a brief bio. As were the other folks. Mostly about location and language. We try to meet in real life, but we can do this online. Then I was given the choice to pick one family out of three.
So I did.
Some just go to the grocery store together and help shop.
Some go and bring gift cards.
Some do the shopping for those that can't.
Some just give gift cards.
Some buddy up to go to food banks.
The whole deal is based on face-to-face help.
This encourages privacy.
This overcomes the stigma of being needy.
This is that story (names and locations changed).
We met in town at a park, a blustery fall day. But not raining. We had spoken on the phone, and I described what I would be wearing. They picked a spot near a swing set and playground. It all felt a bit like a spy story. I will call them James and Linda, with 3 kids, the oldest about 7, and the second very shy, but not the smallest one, she was instantly all over me, grabbing my hands and asking me 100 questions. This broke the ice and put us all at ease.
These are what economists call the working poor. But the first thing that becomes obvious is that they do not think of themselves as poor at all. It was their church that put them in touch with the “Grocery Buddy" list. They were reluctant but also pragmatic. Trust comes with caution. Yet help is help. After the introductions, I brought up privacy and confidentiality. Assuring them of that. This caused a big sigh from Linda, as she let go of some fear or other.
James works on a landscaping crew. Linda is a home care assistant. They both work full time, and an older aunt takes up the childcare slack. We will be doing some shopping for her also. They are more or less happy and seem to care a great deal for each other. Like all working families, they are exhausted. A bit confused about the politics of this. But also loving and kind parents. We sit and talk for a long time. Asking comes hard for them, offering comes easily for me. So we work out some details.
They were surprised that I was not rich. They thought this might be what some call "charity theatre," rich folk helping poor folk to make themselves feel less guilty. We laughed about this. They said back home there was a lot of that. I did not ask where back home was. But I was honest about what I could spend and what help I could give. I think I have met some new friends. As we walked out of the park, James asked about my truck, an old Toyota, and so we talked about trucks for a bit. They drove an old beat-up minivan that he hates. But he then shrugged, “What can you do?”
I will pick them up next week in the late evening, and we will go food shopping at the 24-hour big, worker-owned supermarket. We both agreed that it had the best price and selection around.
(I will add more to this next week.)
About a week later
So yesterday evening at about 8 pm I drove into town and picked up James and Linda. Both insisted on coming with. Linda is the main cook in the family, James does most of the shopping. As he gets off work first. They are in good spirits as the word got around their church that this Grocery Buddies thing was a good deal and could be trusted.
First they are amazing food shoppers. They had lists. And meal plans, and coupons. They knew the store layout. We talked a lot about food, and meals. As we walked the aisles. Before we went inside I handed them 2 in store gift cards I had bought earlier on my way into town. I said you can buy whatever you want, use 1 or both cards. Each had $100.00 on them. They were probably getting a little over $300.00 in SNAP benefits a month. I never asked, but that was the going rate for a family of 5, that paid about than half their income on rent and utilities.
Linda was definitely in charge. Stopping often to check the meal plans, and silently calculating prices. James was sort of the kids advocate, making sure they got their favorites. He also got very quiet when he saw the meat prices. So he and I talked steak, nostalgically. By now we were just friends shopping. I pushed a cart, and bought some things I needed. As we all checked out, and bagged our groceries. The mood got a bit somber.
What was the future? We were all thinking it.
I snuck in three small gifts for the kids.
Made sure they got into James and Linda's bags.
🙏
(later)
Note:
I want to follow up a bit about this. Because I got some criticism from some online folks. Yes James and Linda and their kids are American citizens, all born here. No I did not ask for proof. I don't give a fuck. Why the hell should this matter?
No I was not exaggerating their poverty. There are millions of working Americans paying more than half their income in rent and utilities. Look it up. And finally, no I am not rich, that $200.00 came from my savings. I am retired living on Social Securty and a small pension. I actually qualify for a very small amount of SNAP benefits myself.
....