Letter to a newcomer after I spoke at an NA convention.
Thank you for the compliment at the end of the NA meeting.
I often feel like an idiot after I share, because I can't edit out the stupid bits.
So it is nice knowing someone listens.
Also thanks for the questions about how to find “the right thing to do.”
I thought I share a bit more about Vows and morals.
Some years ago when I was working through the steps for the first time, I came up against a dilemma. .... "except when to do so would injure them or others.".... I had a huge amends to make and could not figure out a way to do so that passed this moral test. This was then followed by a deep inquire into just what the fuck were my personal morals anyway. Did I have any? Where they codified ? Did my parents instill them? Where they divine, or human? My sponsor was not much help, as he was sure of his, (they were mythic, divine and un-questionable). Mine were at the time vague feelings and intuitions, and more important they were situational, they changed. The ideas were more Good Ethical Behavior, and less committed aspirations.
I wanted the Human instruction manual .... I wanted clear, precise direction. ... What I got was millions of words of philosophy. Nobody agreed. I muddled through. Not secure that what I was doing was right, or just. I came up with a solution to the amends problem. It cost me a lot, lasted years, and released me from my burden. Step nine is in fact a blessing. .... Time goes by. From time to time I revisit the quest. Can I find at set of moral declarations, (or write my own), that fill up the gap. Rules of action that guide me in day to day human interactions. I was predisposed to throw out all the "should's" and "thou shall nots" As they smacked of shame and negativity. I wanted something I could practice and get better at. Sometime positive and aspirational.
Then one day I found these:
(I could talk about them at great length, But I will let them speak for themselves.)
((notice: each starts with awareness. Each has the verb "committed", "practice" and "determined"))
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 5 mindfulness trainings
1.
First Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.
2.
Second Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, my energy and my material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.
3.
Third Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect all people from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.
4.
Fourth Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others. I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering. I am committed to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain and will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
5.
Fifth Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I will ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicants or to ingest foods or information that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my parents, my children, my society, and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger and confusion in myself and in society by practicing mindful consumption. I understand that mindfulness is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Thank you for the compliment at the end of the NA meeting.
I often feel like an idiot after I share, because I can't edit out the stupid bits.
So it is nice knowing someone listens.
Also thanks for the questions about how to find “the right thing to do.”
I thought I share a bit more about Vows and morals.
Some years ago when I was working through the steps for the first time, I came up against a dilemma. .... "except when to do so would injure them or others.".... I had a huge amends to make and could not figure out a way to do so that passed this moral test. This was then followed by a deep inquire into just what the fuck were my personal morals anyway. Did I have any? Where they codified ? Did my parents instill them? Where they divine, or human? My sponsor was not much help, as he was sure of his, (they were mythic, divine and un-questionable). Mine were at the time vague feelings and intuitions, and more important they were situational, they changed. The ideas were more Good Ethical Behavior, and less committed aspirations.
I wanted the Human instruction manual .... I wanted clear, precise direction. ... What I got was millions of words of philosophy. Nobody agreed. I muddled through. Not secure that what I was doing was right, or just. I came up with a solution to the amends problem. It cost me a lot, lasted years, and released me from my burden. Step nine is in fact a blessing. .... Time goes by. From time to time I revisit the quest. Can I find at set of moral declarations, (or write my own), that fill up the gap. Rules of action that guide me in day to day human interactions. I was predisposed to throw out all the "should's" and "thou shall nots" As they smacked of shame and negativity. I wanted something I could practice and get better at. Sometime positive and aspirational.
Then one day I found these:
(I could talk about them at great length, But I will let them speak for themselves.)
((notice: each starts with awareness. Each has the verb "committed", "practice" and "determined"))
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The 5 mindfulness trainings
1.
First Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by the destruction of life, I am committed to cultivating compassion and learning ways to protect the lives of people, animals, plants, and minerals. I am determined not to kill, not to let others kill, and not to condone any act of killing in the world, in my thinking, and in my way of life.
2.
Second Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by exploitation, social injustice, stealing and oppression, I am committed to cultivating loving kindness and learning ways to work for the well-being of people, animals, plants and minerals. I will practice generosity by sharing my time, my energy and my material resources with those who are in real need. I am determined not to steal and not to possess anything that should belong to others. I will respect the property of others, but I will prevent others from profiting from human suffering or the suffering of other species on Earth.
3.
Third Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by sexual misconduct, I am committed to cultivating responsibility and learning ways to protect the safety and integrity of individuals, couples, families, and society. I am determined not to engage in sexual relations without love and a long-term commitment. To preserve the happiness of myself and others, I am determined to respect my commitments and the commitments of others. I will do everything in my power to protect all people from sexual abuse and to prevent couples and families from being broken by sexual misconduct.
4.
Fourth Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful speech and the inability to listen to others. I am committed to cultivating loving speech and deep listening in order to bring joy and happiness to others and relieve others of their suffering. Knowing that words can create happiness or suffering. I am committed to speak truthfully, with words that inspire self-confidence, joy and hope. I will not spread news that I do not know to be certain and will not criticize or condemn things of which I am not sure. I will refrain from uttering words that can cause division or discord, or that cause the family or the community to break. I am determined to make all efforts to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.
5.
Fifth Practice
Aware of the suffering caused by unmindful consumption, I am committed to cultivating good health, both physical and mental, for myself, my family, and my society by practicing mindful eating, drinking, and consuming. I will ingest only items that preserve peace, well-being, and joy in my body, in my consciousness, and in the collective body and consciousness of my family and society. I am determined not to use alcohol or any other intoxicants or to ingest foods or information that contain toxins, such as certain TV programs, magazines, books, films, and conversations. I am aware that to damage my body or my consciousness with these poisons is to betray my parents, my children, my society, and future generations. I will work to transform violence, fear, anger and confusion in myself and in society by practicing mindful consumption. I understand that mindfulness is crucial for self-transformation and for the transformation of society.
~~~~~~~~~~~