There are few things as powerful as an idea. Some come fully baked and ready for action, while others begin their existence as only an amorphous notion of what could be. It takes time and effort to refine these ideas, to give them form and let them take shape.
Image alt: clay pottery being made
Consider these two scenarios.
Someone hands you a clay ornament; it's finished, already been hardened in a kiln. As you take it into your hands your role can only be to look but not to change it; any attempts to change it will result in it breaking entirely. You can turn it around, look at it from all sides and angles, you can say what you think of it, but you can't meaningfully change it. What you hand back is what you first received. The clay exists as if you never encountered it.
vs
Someone hands you a lump of clay; it has some shape to it already but it's still soft and malleable. This time, as you turn it around in your hands to examine it, you can apply pressure and change its form. You can help smooth over the imperfections, you can remove pieces altogether and you can add new parts to it. What you hand back is something new; the core of the clay remains but you've helped to shape it, helped to transform it into something better. The clay is improved for you having encountered it.
Ideas are clay.
When someone wants to share an idea, they can bring something malleable or something finalized. As the creator it's useful to recognize the difference, because it hurts to watch someone try to change your clay if, in your mind, it's already hardened. As the examiner it's useful to recognize the difference because applying pressure to one form makes it better and applying pressure to the other will leave it broken.
When you share an idea that you think is finished and perfect, you don't want criticism; you want compliments. When you share an idea that you know isn't yet fully formed it's the opposite; you are looking for help in finding its form.
I try to share ideas early when they are still soft, before I've spent too long refining something that might be bad, or wrong, or pointless. Something I say daily is "this might be a terrible idea, but what if we...". With this introduction, I'm making it clear that I want people to examine, poke, prod and help me mold this lump into something useful or help me throw it out.
Not only does this help filter out bad ideas more quickly but it also helps build collective ownership. When you hand me an idea already set in stone, that's clearly yours, I'm unlikely to value it like you do and unlikely to care for it as you'd like me to. But when you hand me something I can help form, I'll value it like one of my own.
The next time you have an idea and want people to buy into it, don't start the conversation with the finished article; start by sharing the idea and asking others to help you shape it. What ends up in your hands after it's been prodded and pulled apart and put back together will be stronger than what you started with.
