My family has a tradition of sending holiday letters to friends and relatives about our year's adventures. Since moving out, I've wanted to continue this tradition. Here's my 2024 in review.

In early December 2023 I started a new job as a DevOps Engineer after a D&D friend mentioned their company was hiring, and after talking with them I applied and got hired! It has been fun venturing into new territory as I didn't have much experience with DevOps. I am learning a lot and see myself staying here for the foreseeable future. 

A few weeks later, I visited NYC for a rationalist meetup and secular solstice celebration. The meetup was transformative - I found myself among people who shared my curiosity about everything from anthropics to AI. The solstice event, a secular winter ritual, moved me with its focus on humanity's struggles and triumphs.

The meetup left me energized about new possibilities, and soon after, I took another step into the unknown. I moved into an apartment by myself in late January - my first time living alone, though my sister and her husband were in the same complex and we often got together for board games.

I struggled significantly with eating this year, often managing only one meal daily. Despite trying various solutions - from meal prep services to eating out - I frequently found myself shaking from hunger. My current solution is weekly catering.

My sleep was generally poor this year. I spent a lot of time nocturnal, and had a hard time getting my sleep cycles in order. Given my food situation, I mostly did not exercise either. I would occasionally go on walks in the middle of the night when I got twitchy, and really enjoyed them. Nowadays I am starting to exercise again, and this time my walks are in the sunlight. 

I don't think of myself as having many friends, just a few close ones, and so it was more noticeable when the friendships I did have grew more distant. Everyone in my life was either moving away or growing distant for other reasons, like having kids. Yet even as local friendships faded, my siblings and I stayed connected through weekly Pathfinder games emceed by my brother-in-law. When that doesn't work out, we play Baldur's Gate 3 together - a fun way to stay in touch despite my sister moving out of state.

I talked with my parents on the occasional phone call as they travelled around the country, but my more direct communication with them was an email thread my mom and I started where we discuss christian apologetics. It was fun, but we both got busy and haven't really continued. 

In late May / early June I went to LessOnline. A large gathering of rationalist-type people. It was frankly inspiring and I really didn’t want to leave. You know the saying that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with? Everyone I met there was someone who could and would push me to be a better version of myself. I wanted that. I wanted people who could sharpen me, and who I could sharpen in return. 

The people I met weren't content sitting around watching the world burn. They were actively building the world they wanted, from large things like AI to small things like a better daycare for their kids. They often disagreed with each other, but they made space for their disagreement instead of descending into tribalism. They valued a healthy skepticism that wasn’t narcissistic or cynical. 

What struck me most was how they approached difficult topics. They courageously talked about controversies, but with a kindness that I have rarely seen elsewhere. They wished to see the world as it was, not as they wanted it to be, and they did this so they could build each other elaborate gifts. They embodied a contagious enthusiasm and verve for life and joy and fun. 

I spent a couple of days among people whose minds burned bright and hearts flowed freely. People who challenged me. Then I flew home from the conference and immediately fell back into my old habits and patterns, just as I expected. It was disheartening but, as I tried to protect the little flame of enthusiasm I got from those people, life moved on. 

Over the summer, the little flame burned down to a smoldering coal, and as I grew distant from friends and family for one reason or another, I started thinking about what I wanted. That thinking crystallized into a plan: I would spend the next year traveling to 12 different cities, staying a month in each to really explore where I might want to live. The timing felt perfect - I could even start with a New Year's celebration with family I don't normally get to see.

This year has felt like a year of transition, the closing of one chapter and opening of another. It was the end of a period of intensive searching and questioning. A period of asking hard questions and refusing to be satisfied with partial answers. It wasn't always pleasant, for me or my friends, but it was worth it. I finally know what I believe, and what I want. I wanted to symbolize this transition, and as I am not a tattoo guy, I had to find something else. 

I've always like the idea of marking transitions in life with a changing of one's name. The thing is, I like my name and don't want to change it. I settled on giving myself an additional middle name, rather than change anything else. I was pondering this for awhile when I realized that I was running out of time if I wanted to do it before my big trip the next year. So I headed on down to the county clerk and got all my paperwork set up, got into the last court session of the year, and legally changed my name. 

The name I gave myself is Alfirin. It's a sindarin word that means "not dying". It's the name of a flower that grows on the tombs of kings of men, and is the name of a character who embodies much of what I find virtuous. 

Looking back on 2024 I can see it's been a wild year. A lonely year, but a fun year. Much has changed, while some things have stayed the same. Thanks for reading, and I hope this glimpse into my world was worth your time.