Gary Lerude

April 25, 2021

Grief, Rage, Despair — But Don't Give Up

Last week, I watched the Sunday service at the UU Fellowship of Montgomery, Alabama. Rev. Lynn Hopkins’ moving sermon expressed how the experiences of the past year have layered feelings of grief, rage, and despair. It was an “aha” moment for me, putting into words what I have increasingly felt: grief caused by rampant self-interest, hypocrisy, injustice, and death, then boiling up into visceral rage and giving way to despair.

This week, I was heartened that the world shared some sense of this outrage, when a jury returned a guilty verdict on all counts. The images from that video were just too stark to be explained away by fancy words meant to obfuscate reality.

Yet, had it not been for Darnella Frazier stopping to capture the travesty on her phone, I doubt George Floyd’s name would even be a footnote in recorded history. He would join the legion of forgotten Black souls sacrificed by systematic racism in this country.

This morning, I said a prayer of blessing for Darnella Frazier, hoping the feeling of inadequacy she expressed during the trial will lead to solace, knowing how much her action bent the arc of the moral universe toward justice. George Floyd's name will not be forgotten. Nor will hers.

My heart is moved by all I cannot save:
So much has been destroyed.
I have to cast my lot with those who,
age after age, perversely,
with no extraordinary power,
reconstitute the world.
— Adrienne Rich, 1929 - 2012