As I approach another milestone birthday — aren't they all milestones? — I'm grateful to be at a stage in life where I don't feel I have to prove myself.
My life has forged my values and brought self-confidence as I have navigated the challenges and achieved some successes, yielding a sense of security and an increasing fondness for the people I've encountered along the way. Today, who I am is determined more by me than by my job, a boss, external goals, achieving status, or fitting in.
I'm at the stage of my life where the end is no longer some unimaginable point decades and decades hence. That window is possibly within 20 years, which, surprisingly, brings some comfort. I no longer feel compelled to be on a treadmill racing for some destination in the far future. The days seem more precious, meant to be savored rather than passing in a blur.
As she aged, my dear mother adopted Warning by Jenny Joseph as something of a philosophy. I liked it at the time and now relate personally to its relevance. The first two stanzas go:
My life has forged my values and brought self-confidence as I have navigated the challenges and achieved some successes, yielding a sense of security and an increasing fondness for the people I've encountered along the way. Today, who I am is determined more by me than by my job, a boss, external goals, achieving status, or fitting in.
I'm at the stage of my life where the end is no longer some unimaginable point decades and decades hence. That window is possibly within 20 years, which, surprisingly, brings some comfort. I no longer feel compelled to be on a treadmill racing for some destination in the far future. The days seem more precious, meant to be savored rather than passing in a blur.
As she aged, my dear mother adopted Warning by Jenny Joseph as something of a philosophy. I liked it at the time and now relate personally to its relevance. The first two stanzas go:
When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.
You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.
Of course, I do still feel some pressure to conform and fit in; however, I have developed more confidence to respectfully chart my own course.
To thine own self be true.