Can AI dream up a corporate memo more surreal than the ones that come from the bowels of BigCos? Ethan Mollick recommends the following prompt. When I dropped it into ChatGPT 4, it resulted in something that gives corporate jabberwocky a run for the money;
Write a corporate memo in a serious style explaining and justifying the following points:
-The floor is now lava
-Promotion will now be decided based on staring contests
-We have merged with a hive of bees. The Queen is your new CTO.
Subject: Significant Organizational Changes - The Floor Is Lava, Staring Contests for Promotion, and Beehive Merger
Date: May 11, 2023
To: All Employees
From: [Your Name], CEO
Dear Team,
In our constant pursuit of innovation and growth, we have implemented a series of transformative changes to our organizational structure and work environment. These changes will foster creativity, resilience, and productivity, and are essential for maintaining our competitive edge in the industry. This memo serves to explain and justify these changes, which include:
1. The Floor is Now Lava:
The floor in our offices will now be treated as if it were lava. This exercise is inspired by the popular childhood game and serves to encourage employees to think outside the box and adapt to unconventional circumstances. Our goal is to create a work environment that challenges you to find innovative solutions and to break free from established patterns. We will provide appropriate safety equipment and training to ensure that everyone can navigate the workspace safely and effectively.
2. Promotion Decided Based on Staring Contests:
Promotions will now be determined through staring contests, which will be held on a quarterly basis. This decision-making process has been carefully considered and aims to foster mental resilience and focus amongst employees. Staring contests will be conducted under the supervision of HR and will follow a fair and transparent bracket system. This unique approach will encourage employees to develop emotional intelligence and mental fortitude, as well as to form stronger bonds with their colleagues.
3. Merger with a Hive of Bees - The Queen as New CTO:
In our quest for continuous improvement and embracing the power of collaboration, we have merged with a hive of bees. The Queen bee will assume the role of our new Chief Technology Officer (CTO). This partnership symbolizes our commitment to the environment, sustainability, and efficient teamwork. The Queen bee's natural ability to lead and coordinate large groups will be invaluable in driving our technological advancements and ensuring the seamless integration of our teams.
We understand that these changes may be met with apprehension, but we have taken great care to ensure their success and to support all employees during this transition period. Our goal is to create a dynamic and resilient workforce that can adapt to challenges, think creatively, and be inspired by the world around us. We believe these changes will better equip our organization to thrive in an ever-evolving landscape.
Should you have any questions or concerns regarding these changes, please do not hesitate to reach out to your manager or Human Resources. We will be organizing town hall meetings and providing additional resources to facilitate a smooth transition.
Thank you for your cooperation and dedication as we embark on this exciting new chapter in our company's history.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
CEO
Write a corporate memo in a serious style explaining and justifying the following points:
-The floor is now lava
-Promotion will now be decided based on staring contests
-We have merged with a hive of bees. The Queen is your new CTO.
Subject: Significant Organizational Changes - The Floor Is Lava, Staring Contests for Promotion, and Beehive Merger
Date: May 11, 2023
To: All Employees
From: [Your Name], CEO
Dear Team,
In our constant pursuit of innovation and growth, we have implemented a series of transformative changes to our organizational structure and work environment. These changes will foster creativity, resilience, and productivity, and are essential for maintaining our competitive edge in the industry. This memo serves to explain and justify these changes, which include:
1. The Floor is Now Lava:
The floor in our offices will now be treated as if it were lava. This exercise is inspired by the popular childhood game and serves to encourage employees to think outside the box and adapt to unconventional circumstances. Our goal is to create a work environment that challenges you to find innovative solutions and to break free from established patterns. We will provide appropriate safety equipment and training to ensure that everyone can navigate the workspace safely and effectively.
2. Promotion Decided Based on Staring Contests:
Promotions will now be determined through staring contests, which will be held on a quarterly basis. This decision-making process has been carefully considered and aims to foster mental resilience and focus amongst employees. Staring contests will be conducted under the supervision of HR and will follow a fair and transparent bracket system. This unique approach will encourage employees to develop emotional intelligence and mental fortitude, as well as to form stronger bonds with their colleagues.
3. Merger with a Hive of Bees - The Queen as New CTO:
In our quest for continuous improvement and embracing the power of collaboration, we have merged with a hive of bees. The Queen bee will assume the role of our new Chief Technology Officer (CTO). This partnership symbolizes our commitment to the environment, sustainability, and efficient teamwork. The Queen bee's natural ability to lead and coordinate large groups will be invaluable in driving our technological advancements and ensuring the seamless integration of our teams.
We understand that these changes may be met with apprehension, but we have taken great care to ensure their success and to support all employees during this transition period. Our goal is to create a dynamic and resilient workforce that can adapt to challenges, think creatively, and be inspired by the world around us. We believe these changes will better equip our organization to thrive in an ever-evolving landscape.
Should you have any questions or concerns regarding these changes, please do not hesitate to reach out to your manager or Human Resources. We will be organizing town hall meetings and providing additional resources to facilitate a smooth transition.
Thank you for your cooperation and dedication as we embark on this exciting new chapter in our company's history.
Sincerely,
[Your Name]
CEO