Confidence is a muscle, not a mood.

It's not something that happens to you on good days when everything goes right. It's not a personality trait you either have or you don't. It's not dependent on perfect circumstances or flawless execution.

Confidence is built through repetition. And like any muscle, it gets stronger when you work it consistently.

Most leaders I work with have this backwards. They're waiting to feel confident before they take action. They think confidence comes first, then competence follows.

Here's what actually happens: You build competence through action, but you never feel confident because you're not paying attention to the evidence. You can be incredibly capable and still feel unsure of yourself—not because you lack ability, but because you never taught your brain to recognize that you're already succeeding.

The Confidence Loop That Changes Everything

Confidence isn't magic. It's a feedback loop:

You take action.
You win or you learn.
You internalize the win. (That internalization builds confidence.)
Confidence fuels more action.

Simple, right? But here's where most leaders break the loop.

They skip step three.

You close the deal, solve the problem, lead the meeting, make the decision—then immediately move to the next task. You treat wins like checkboxes instead of evidence. You miss the moment to tell your brain: "See? You did it. You're learning. You can trust yourself."

The loop breaks when you don't internalize your wins.

What Internalizing Actually Looks Like

Internalizing isn't just celebrating. It's deeper than that.

It's pausing long enough to connect the dots between what you did and what you learned. It's letting your nervous system absorb the fact that you're more capable than you were yesterday. It's giving your brain permission to update its story about who you are and what you can handle.

James Clear nailed it: "Every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become." But if you never count the votes, how will you know you're winning?

I see this constantly with the leaders I coach. They have the competence but lack the confidence because they've never claimed their wins. They can point to results, but they can't point to growth. They know what they've done, but they don't believe what they're becoming.

You're Already Becoming Who You Hope to Be

Here's the truth most leaders miss: You're already becoming who you hope to be—but you keep skipping the moment to believe it.

It's like watering a plant but never stopping to notice it's grown.

You've been building competence for years. Every challenge you've navigated. Every problem you've solved. Every time you figured it out when you didn't know how. That's evidence. That's data. That's proof you can trust yourself.

But if you don't internalize those wins, you remain unsure even when the evidence says you've already succeeded.

How to Build the Muscle

Start simple. Start today.

At the end of each week, ask yourself three questions:

What did I figure out this week that I didn't know how to do before?
What evidence do I have that I'm growing?
What does this tell me about who I'm becoming?

Don't rush through this. Sit with it. Let it land.

This isn't about becoming arrogant or self-congratulatory. It's about becoming accurate. It's about aligning your confidence with your competence. It's about building the muscle that will carry you into bigger challenges and greater impact.

The Strategic Advantage of Confidence

When you build confidence as a muscle, something shifts.

You stop approaching opportunities from a place of "Can I do this?" and start approaching them from "I believe in my ability to figure this out."

That's not naïve—that's strategic.

Leaders who integrate their wins create momentum. They build on success instead of starting from scratch every time. They carry forward the lessons, the growth, and the evidence that they can handle what's coming next.

Your Next Move

Here's my challenge: Stop treating confidence like weather.

Start treating it like fitness. Show up consistently. Do the work. Integrate the wins.

Because the leader you're becoming needs the confidence to match the competence you're building.