BOTTOM LINE UP FRONT: All effective behavior changes start with an awareness of the current behavior. Self-awareness is crucial for self-examination, as it helps identify necessary changes.
THE WATER WE SWIM IN: Over time, the cues that ignite our habits become so common that they essentially become invisible.
- the treats on the kitchen counter
- the remote control next to the couch
- the phone in our pocket
Our responses to these cues are so deeply encoded that it may feel like the urge to act comes from nowhere. For this reason, we must begin the process of behavior change with awareness.
WHY IT MATTERS: As Carl Jung stated, "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
One of the most formidable challenges we face when attempting to overhaul our habits lies in maintaining a consistent awareness of our actions. This constant vigilance is necessary because it's through this lens that we can truly see what we are doing, thereby allowing us to make the necessary changes.
Before we envision what could be, we must thoroughly analyze what is.
MY BASELINE HABITS
My Baseline Habits is a simple exercise you can use to become more aware of your behavior. To create your own, make a list of your daily habits.
Here’s a sample of where your list might start:
- Wake up
- Turn off alarm
- Check my phone
- Go to the bathroom
- Weigh myself
- Take a shower
- Brush my teeth
- Floss my teeth
- Put on deodorant
- Hang up towel to dry
- Get dressed
- Make a cup of tea
… and so on.
Once you have a full list, look at each behavior, and ask yourself, “Is this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?” If it is a good habit, write “+” next to it. If it is a bad habit, write “–”. If it is a neutral habit, write “=”.
For example, the list above might look like this:
- Wake up =
- Turn off alarm =
- Check my phone –
- Go to the bathroom =
- Weigh myself +
- Take a shower +
- Brush my teeth +
- Floss my teeth +
- Put on deodorant +
- Hang up towel to dry =
- Get dressed =
- Make a cup of tea +
Once you have a full list, look at each behavior, and ask yourself, “Is this a good habit, a bad habit, or a neutral habit?”
- If it is a good habit, write “+” next to it.
- If it is a bad habit, write “–”.
- If it is a neutral habit, write “=”.
The marks you give to a particular habit will depend on your situation and your goals. For someone who is trying to lose weight, eating a bagel with peanut butter every morning might be a bad habit. For someone who is trying to bulk up and add muscle, the same behavior might be a good habit. It all depends on what you’re working toward.
HOW DO I KNOW IF A HABIT IS GOOD OR BAD?
The labels “good habit” and “bad habit” are slightly inaccurate. There are no good habits or bad habits. There are only effective habits. That is, effective at solving problems. All habits serve you in some way—even the bad ones—which is why you repeat them.
When completing your Baseline Habits, however, you can categorize your habits by how they will benefit you in the long run. Generally speaking, good habits will have net positive outcomes. Bad habits have net negative outcomes. Smoking a cigarette may reduce stress right now (that’s how it’s serving you), but it’s not a healthy long-term behavior.
If you’re still having trouble determining how to rate a particular habit, here is a question I like to use: “Does this behavior help me become the type of person I wish to be? Does this habit cast a vote for or against my desired identity?” Habits that reinforce your desired identity are usually good. Habits that conflict with your desired identity are typically bad.
WHERE TO GO FROM HERE
As you create your Baseline Habits, there is no need to change anything at first. The goal is to simply notice what is actually going on. Observe your thoughts and actions without judgment or internal criticism. Don’t blame yourself for your faults. Don’t praise yourself for your successes.
If you eat a chocolate bar every morning, acknowledge it, almost as if you were watching someone else. Oh, how interesting that they would do such a thing. If you binge-eat, simply notice that you are eating more calories than you should. If you waste time online, notice that you are spending your life in a way that you do not want to.
The process of behavior change always starts with awareness. Strategies like your Baseline Habits are focused on getting you to recognize your habits and acknowledge the cues that trigger them, which makes it easier to discover which habits you should change and respond in a way that benefits you.
more tomorrow,
Hunter