James Eaton

March 29, 2021

Daily Blogging Challenge - Day 28 - Engage

I got to sing at church today. 

This is something that I have done hundreds of times, but it’s not something that I have done much lately. I used to lead worship every weekend at church. I would plan the music, schedule the band, run practices, create tracks, and lead each weekend for several years. It was something I loved doing, but it was also a ton of weight on my shoulders. I was responsible for so many things and I did my best to carry that weight and care for the people who played with us and all the people who came to gatherings each weekend. 

Flash forward a few years and my job (and church) is different. I spend much more time planning gatherings and messaging for other people than actually participating in those gatherings, usually. So when I spent the morning on stage singing, it was kind of like a flashback moment. I was standing on stage and it felt comfortable and totally new at the very same time. I was comfortable because it kind of feels like riding a bike, but I also felt like I was able to see this opportunity in my current context and step into the moment with fresh eyes. 

If you ever find yourself doing something on a regular basis, there will be a part of you that goes on autopilot as the task becomes more comfortable. Even speaking or singing in public can become a habit with keywords and easy navigation. Today I really just tried to engage in the moment and just respond from a place of honestly and joy and not just what I “should do” when I sing at church. It was honestly liberating to free myself from my own ideas and ideals about what I should or should not do; I gave myself the freedom to engage with the moment. It felt good to just step into today and feel the freedom to lead worship from a place of love and trust. I have been on a journey over the years and those experiences have shaped me into the person that I am today BUT... that does not mean that I can’t step into a moment in freedom and just walk through the door of opportunity to engage with the people who are there any given Sunday. 

I loved feeling that freedom wash over me and it was honestly what I needed for my own soul today. Am I the best singer in world? No. I’m not even the best singer in my family. But, I love using my gifts and passions and this was a great day. I left church feeling energized and ready to tackle this week (which is good because there is as ton of stuff happening this week). I’m grateful for the opportunities that I have been given and I want to step in and engage with those moments when I can. 

We spend too much of our lives scared of what others might think or hedging out bets. Here’s to a new day filled with opportunity and risk. Here’s to taking chances and stepping out on the ledge. I want to move from the role of the critic to the person who is in the arena actually fighting for something meaningful.