"What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us." - A.W. Tozer
A few months ago I was talking with my friend Jason Jensen from Tilma about how our wounds can stop us from making spiritual practices like daily prayer, community, and Sabbath an integral part of our lives.
When we were talking about personal prayer he made the point that most of us are aware of its importance in our spiritual lives but when it comes time to actually build the habit, we find ourselves continually putting it off. Instead of prayer, we enter into an interior dialogue: "I should probably pray... I'm just not really feeling it... maybe I can later today... I don't have the energy."
If you try really hard, you can overcome that interior dialogue and enter into a wonderful time of prayer, but usually the strength to do that is squashed by lack of desire.
There's all sorts of reasons for this but Jason proposed one that was transformative in its simplicity: maybe we don't want to pray because the God we're talking to doesn't exist.
Here's what I mean by that. If you (like I did for a long time) view God like an army commander with a master plan for taking back the world for Himself, then you might approach prayer like a soldier: "reporting for duty sir, what do you want me to do today?" You might not have any animosity towards God but I wouldn't imagine you'd desire time in His presence very much. If you don't have the energy to "do God's will" for that day, personal prayer just sounds draining.
There's all kinds of other examples but the point Jason was making is that our lack of desire for prayer makes sense if we believe in a God that does more harm then good. Maybe the interior dialogue, the words we say as we express our struggle, is actually an honest prayer being offered to the good God that does exist.
Sometimes too, we can take an aspect of God's character, like His justice, and make it His single defining attribute, rather than viewing it in the context of His whole person. This is what I did with my army commander God: it's not as though God doesn't have a master plan and a will for my life but in His fullness, those things come after His deep love for me, not before it.
As the writer Strahan Coleman points out in his book "Beholding," those of us who have followed Jesus for a long time might know how to serve God, worship God or honour God, but to enjoy God? That sounds like a gift reserved for mystics not a regular part of prayer for an ordinary person.
What comes to mind when we think of God matters because for better for worse, it shapes everything about us. If God is good hearted, merciful, and holy then our desire for prayer should increase; who wouldn't want to spend more time with a God like that? The key to making the spiritual disciplines a habit is an image of God based on reality, not white knuckling.
If prayer, or anything else in the spiritual life is difficult, maybe before we beat ourselves up for not trying hard enough, we should take a step back and remember who God really is. Our image of Him shapes who we become and His heart for us is that we become love, just as He is.
A few months ago I was talking with my friend Jason Jensen from Tilma about how our wounds can stop us from making spiritual practices like daily prayer, community, and Sabbath an integral part of our lives.
When we were talking about personal prayer he made the point that most of us are aware of its importance in our spiritual lives but when it comes time to actually build the habit, we find ourselves continually putting it off. Instead of prayer, we enter into an interior dialogue: "I should probably pray... I'm just not really feeling it... maybe I can later today... I don't have the energy."
If you try really hard, you can overcome that interior dialogue and enter into a wonderful time of prayer, but usually the strength to do that is squashed by lack of desire.
There's all sorts of reasons for this but Jason proposed one that was transformative in its simplicity: maybe we don't want to pray because the God we're talking to doesn't exist.
Here's what I mean by that. If you (like I did for a long time) view God like an army commander with a master plan for taking back the world for Himself, then you might approach prayer like a soldier: "reporting for duty sir, what do you want me to do today?" You might not have any animosity towards God but I wouldn't imagine you'd desire time in His presence very much. If you don't have the energy to "do God's will" for that day, personal prayer just sounds draining.
There's all kinds of other examples but the point Jason was making is that our lack of desire for prayer makes sense if we believe in a God that does more harm then good. Maybe the interior dialogue, the words we say as we express our struggle, is actually an honest prayer being offered to the good God that does exist.
Sometimes too, we can take an aspect of God's character, like His justice, and make it His single defining attribute, rather than viewing it in the context of His whole person. This is what I did with my army commander God: it's not as though God doesn't have a master plan and a will for my life but in His fullness, those things come after His deep love for me, not before it.
As the writer Strahan Coleman points out in his book "Beholding," those of us who have followed Jesus for a long time might know how to serve God, worship God or honour God, but to enjoy God? That sounds like a gift reserved for mystics not a regular part of prayer for an ordinary person.
What comes to mind when we think of God matters because for better for worse, it shapes everything about us. If God is good hearted, merciful, and holy then our desire for prayer should increase; who wouldn't want to spend more time with a God like that? The key to making the spiritual disciplines a habit is an image of God based on reality, not white knuckling.
If prayer, or anything else in the spiritual life is difficult, maybe before we beat ourselves up for not trying hard enough, we should take a step back and remember who God really is. Our image of Him shapes who we become and His heart for us is that we become love, just as He is.