I remember sitting in the basement of a church with a dozen other men and women around my age. It was a diverse group of singles, married and married with children. Even ethnically, it was a diverse room of white, Latino, and African Americans. We had poster-sized sticky notes on the walls spread throughout the room. On each note was our story of how we became Christians.
One by one, we went around the room, sharing how Jesus saved us from broken, traumatic, and painful pasts. Some people shared about their broken homes. Others shared struggles with addiction of one sort or another. Finally, it was a sweet, newly married woman's turn to share.
Before she could even get a word out, she began to sob uncontrollably. The room gave her space to feel her feelings, and we did our best to be empathetic and supportive. As she regained her composure, she began to share what came as a shock to the room.
She was sobbing because she didn't have a testimony that showed how broken and complex her life was before becoming a Christian. It was devastating to her that she was just a regular 'white girl from the suburbs' who had two loving parents, a safe home, good schools, and everything she could need or want.
For the first time in my life, I realized how much Christianity puts a premium on guilt and shame as part of what it means to become and then live as a Christian. In what I've come to believe is a type of spiritual sadism, the worse you are, the more wretched you feel your life was before Jesus, the more you hate your choices and life before Christianity, the more the church celebrates. Where does this come from?
Are Guilt and Shame How Jesus Drew People to Himself?
Remember that story where the Jewish leaders came to Jesus having caught a married man sleeping with a woman who wasn't his wife? Do you remember when the woman was made to stand in front of the Jewish leaders, and Jesus covered in guilt and shame?
Remember how Jesus rebukes the woman as a sinner? How he so clearly calls out how she deserves to go to hell because she's inherently a bad person, and sleeping with a married man proves how awful she is?
I don't remember this story either because it's not in the Bible. At least not the version I just asked about. How does Jesus actually respond to a woman the Jewish leaders bring before him who was having sex with a married man?
7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 And once again he bent down and wrote on the ground. 9 When they heard it, they went away, one by one, beginning with the elders, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. 10 Jesus straightened up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, sir.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way, and from now on do not sin again.” (John 8:7-11, NRSVUE)
If you have ever noticed the double brackets [[ ]] around this passage in most Bibles, it's because our earliest manuscripts don't include this story. Other manuscripts include the story, but instead of being in John, it's in Luke right after Luke 21:38. Despite which gospel or where the story originated, most scholars agree it is in our current scriptures because something like this happened during the ministry of Jesus. Some scholars even claim this story is an archetypal story that reflects multiple situations in which Jewish leaders put Jesus. If this is, in fact, an archetypal story, it becomes even more potent as the consistent response of Jesus was not to induce guilt, shame, or judgment.
I am not arguing the merits of this passage being in John 8 instead of Luke 21. I am bringing it up because the early Christian community found in it the truth that demonstrated the type of man Jesus was. He was compassionate, kind, empathetic, and justice-minded on behalf of a woman being put on trial publicly by a group of men with power.
Isn't it conspicuous that the married man who slept with this woman is nowhere to be found in the story? Could it be that the Jewish leaders focusing on the woman were trying to say the whole reason the unknown man committed an act of infidelity was solely because of this temptress woman? Maybe when Jesus says, "Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her," he's reminding the Jewish leaders if anyone looked in the Jewish leader's bedrooms at the right time of day, they too would be caught partaking in the same behavior they are judging this woman for.
Why Doesn’t The Church Treat People Like Jesus Did?
Here's the thing: if we're being honest, the fictitious version of John 8 that I made up is most often how people are introduced to Christianity and by association with Jesus. One of the 'sacred mantras' of evangelicalism is the sinfulness or fallen nature of all humanity.
The rationale is if humanity isn't in a fallen state and 'totally depraved,' then what's the point of Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection? The sinfulness of humankind and the theology of the cross are intertwined into a merry-go-round of circular reasoning. The result is the Church uses the worst moments, our most vulnerable times, our darkest hours and weaponizes them into guilt to show how much we need to be 'saved.'
Historically, it was when the Western Church (this includes the Western world) learned to emphasize and exploit the conviction that people are sinful and in need of redemption that guilt and religion became so close. The power of the Western Church has always rested on its ability to manipulate the sense of human inadequacy that most often arises within each of us as guilt.
From the inception of Christianity joining itself to the Roman Empire, the focus of Christ's life and teachings around compassion and justice expressed through love were traded in for power and control expressed through trauma-inducing guilt.
Are We Following Jesus or Experiencing Shared Trauma?
When self-deprecation and emotional manipulation are at the foundation of our religious identities, they inevitably flow into all spheres of our lives. Our churches become full of people who lack a positive view of themselves and struggle to show compassion and love to others because we have no idea how to show these to ourselves.
Furthermore, our view of God and Jesus changes. We end up with a fear-based relationship with God and the Church. We'll speak of God's love and mercy, but what keeps us obedient is guilt and fear of punishment. Churches regularly exploit the mentality that obedience means holiness and a rejection of our sinfulness to mobilize a volunteer force to serve in all the ways that allow a church to function. What's more concerning is that fear-induced obedience isn't a bug but a feature of the church system.
Christianity cannot continue to operate in this archaic and traumatizing way and expect to continue to exist in its current form. The time has come for Christians, the Church, and anyone who desires a connection with the 'more' we often refer to as God to transcend the trauma-induced fear tactics that have been woven into the fabric of our theological frameworks and church practices.
For Christianity to flourish into the twenty-first century and beyond, the faithful to Christ must return to the core of Jesus' teachings. The cornerstone that Jesus represents belongs to a foundation not built upon guilt and coercion but upon love, compassion, and justice.
By embracing the way of Jesus, who modeled empathy and understanding even in the face of societal and religious condemnation, we can foster communities that emphasize healing over judgment and connection over alienation. The church has the potential to be a beacon of hope and transformation, guided by the same boundless love and mercy that Jesus himself demonstrated. Let us, therefore, recommit ourselves to walking in his footsteps, prioritizing the values that unify and uplift the human spirit and pave the way for authentic and compassionate faith communities.
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Thanks for stopping by and reading this article! If my work has served you or you want to contribute to creating authentic faith connections, consider becoming an Authentic Faith Advocate.
Thanks for stopping by and reading this article! If my work has served you or you want to contribute to creating authentic faith connections, consider becoming an Authentic Faith Advocate.