Joan Westenberg

October 31, 2024

The Problem With Bringing Your Whole Self to Work


The problem with the “bring your whole self to work” mantra? Some folks' “whole self” includes anti-vaxx stickers, crosses plastered everywhere, and COVID denial sprinkled into conversations. And I don't know about you, but I’d rather not work in a place where Slack channels or desks become soapboxes for any of that shit. 

If the tradeoff means I keep my rainbow flag off my laptop and leave my “Fuck Trump” sticker at home, I’m okay with it. Because when we say, “bring your whole self,” we’re opening the door to everyone bringing all of it – and that can get messy fast.

This is the part a lot of folks forget: you can't allow one person's whole self and not someone else's. 

Think about it: If we’re saying that it’s okay to have a Palestinian flag in someone’s bio, what stops someone else from putting an Israeli one there - and vice versa? What about Russian vs Ukrainian flags? If one person can make their politics visible, then it’s only fair that someone else can too. But that quickly spins into an uncomfortable place. And suddenly, the place where we’re just trying to get work done feels like a battleground of clashing ideologies. After all, a viewpoint doesn't have to be illegal to make folks who hear it or see it feel like shit.

People are complicated, and workplaces are better off not trying to untangle that mess. The idea that everyone’s authentic self can come to work in all its glory sounds good on paper but it doesn’t hold up in real life. We need some boundaries, not because we’re denying people’s identities, but because a workplace only functions  when we’re doing the work that brings us together, not focusing on the endless shitstorm of competing ideas that divides us.

So maybe it's time for a rethink. I'm not talking about erasing your personality or pretending you’re someone else from 9 to 5. I'm talking about showing up with healthy respect for your coworkers and their boundaries – understanding that everyone’s here to work, not to confront personal beliefs all day. Work should be a place where folks can feel respected and connected, without wondering if their coworker’s desk or the shared Slack channel is a ticking time bomb of personal convictions.

I think it’s about balance. Saving the bumper stickers and flags for the world outside and recognising that a job is just a job, it's not a reflection of our entire personalities.

About Joan Westenberg

I write about tech + humans.