João Pinho

May 11, 2023

#2 The Lazy Newsletter - Diagonal Walkers: A Lateral Threat to Time, Traffic and Temperament

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Ah, the diagonal crosswalkers. The bane of every pedestrian's existence. You're walking down the sidewalk, minding your own business, and suddenly you see them - a group of people making their way across the street in the most inefficient way possible.


You can't help but wonder, "What is going on in their heads?" Do they think they're cleverly avoiding some invisible obstacle? Are they just trying to show off their superior walking skills? Or are they secretly trying to drive us all insane?


Whatever their reasoning, there's no denying that diagonal crosswalkers are a major inconvenience. Not only do they slow down traffic, but they also create a dangerous situation for themselves and others. And let's not forget about the economic impact - all that time wasted waiting for them adds up to millions of dollars in lost productivity.


Also, let's take a closer look at the environmental impact of diagonal crosswalkers. It's like they're playing a never-ending game of frogger, zigzagging their way across the road and making cars wait. And you know what waiting means - more fuel consumption and more emissions. If we assume that just a fraction of pedestrians choose to cross diagonally instead of straight ahead, that means more time wasted and more cars revving their engines in frustration. So please, diagonal crosswalkers, for the love of the planet and our eardrums, just cross straight ahead like a civilized human being.


But perhaps the most concerning aspect of diagonal crosswalkers is the toll they take on our collective mental health. Every time we see them, we can feel our blood pressure rising, our stress levels skyrocketing. It's enough to make you want to scream, "Just walk straight, for the love of God!"


So what can we do about this menace? It's simple, really - we need to band together and show them the error of their ways. The next time you see someone crossing the street on a diagonal, give them a friendly wave and yell, "Hey, straighten up!" They may not appreciate it in the moment, but trust me - they'll thank you later.


In conclusion, diagonal crosswalkers may seem like a harmless annoyance, but the truth is they're a scourge on society. By working together, we can put an end to their shenanigans and make the world a better place for all pedestrians. Straight ahead, my friends, straight ahead.

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Text Prompt:
Please, write an article estimating the impact for traffic, the environment, the economy, and population's general wellbeing of the time people waste crossing the crosswalk diagonally instead of straight ahead.

Illustration Prompt: A painting of a chaotic intersection, with diagonal crosswalkers causing a commotion and a large clock tower in the background showing the amount of time wasted. The scene is depicted in the style of Salvador Dali, with surreal elements like melting stop signs and flying cars.
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ChatGPT & João Pinho (Find me on LinkedIn)
joao.pinho@hey.com

About João Pinho

👋 Product Manager | AI, Retail, Science, Art Explorer | Book Nerd 📚

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