I've been "off" the last few weeks.
I've struggled to write every morning.
I've struggled to keep up my pace.
I've struggled to be healthy.
My gut has been funky. My mind has been foggy.
And that's ok. I have no control over that.
The only thing I control is myself (essential self). And when I strive to control the things impacting me, I drown in suffering.
Suffering is what happens when we fail to remain in our essential self.
But damn, it's challenging to do that during times of turbulence, and right now is one of those moments.
So how am I getting through this? I use a simple analogy by Rupert Spira.
The analogy discusses two elements:
(1) A screen at the movie theater, and
(2) The projection of a movie on the screen.
While the projection (movie) changes, the screen remains untouched. The same is true for us.
"I am not always 24, 45 or 68-years-old, but I always am. I am not always five feet four or six feet two, but I always am. I am not always lonely, unhappy, tired or cold, but I always am. I am not always single or in a relationship, but I always am. I am not always walking down the street or reading a book, but I always am." — Rupert Spira (from Being Myself).
I understand that the movie's projections (feelings, sickness, tragedy) do not change my essential self (I am).
When I reside in the I Am, I find peace and joy. When I don't, I suffer.
Simple as that. And complicated as well.
I'm sharing this with you to show my ugliness. Too many people only show the highlight reel while hiding their insecurities and weaknesses—They never understand how impactful it is to discuss those topics with others who are facing similar challenges.
You may not need to hear this… today. But what about tomorrow? Or next year when your mom is battling cancer?
Life sucks. It's the only truth found exclusively at the bottom of the social ladder (poverty). The homeless understand how much life sucks. They're prepared for life's shit.
Few of us are. So, when we get "shook" by life, we fall apart (cue Post Malone song).
We stop doing our good habits, pick back up our ugly habits, and fail to continue growing. That's not what I want for you.
To grow regardless of your environment requires you to reside in the I Am; To not allow the thoughts, emotions, and events stall you and dictate your direction.
At first, this seems impossible. But over time, residing in your essential self, no matter the external factors, becomes immediately accessible.
Are you willing to dwell in the I Am with me?
Are you ready to find a better way to exist no matter what life throws at you?
🧠 + ❤️ // JO