Spilling coffee is not the end of the world. I realize this.
But then why did I almost completely break down when Katie spilled hers?
Let me first share the story:
Katie and I visited Mayo hospital in Rochester, Minnesota, for her MS. It was the second day of our stay.
We had gone for a run first thing in the morning, and then I went to Caribou coffee and got two large dark roasts.
When I got back to the hotel, I put Katie's coffee next to her while doing her hair. As I was showering, I kept having visions of her knocking it over. So when I got out, I asked her if I could move it. She politely declined.
A few minutes later, as I was changing, I heard a crash. As I peeked around the corner, I saw coffee spreading out on the floor.
I instantly got angry. I had just asked her to move it to avoid this, and here it was happening. In my rage, I said things I regret. I was an asshole.
Thankfully, Katie is an angel and worked–with me–to calm me down. Finally, after a few minutes, I was able to breathe.
I then went to do my morning pages, which is a journaling practice where I write whatever is on my mind for one full page. Clearly, I had a lot on my mind.
As I furiously wrote down how stupid Katie was for not moving the coffee, I eventually realized the problem was not spilling the coffee. The problem was me.
My overreaction to the spilled coffee was the issue. After digging deep enough, I realized how my insecurity around making mistakes and appearing dumb was leaking out.
For the longest, I've been afraid of making mistakes. I'm not sure why but I have always feared doing or saying the wrong thing. And this fueled my anger toward Katie.
It was not the spilled coffee that caused me to act as I did. Instead, my unhealed wounds and past conditioning caused it.
Life was not happening TO me. Life was happening BY me.
I had the choice to help clean it up and reassure her it was okay or be a complete dick and get mad at her. Sadly, I picked the latter.
But for future circumstances, I plan not to let my emotions get out of control and remind myself; it's only spilled coffee…
What is spilled coffee in your life?
What is something you get overly upset or angry about that, in retrospect, is a non-issue?
Dig deeper, as I did, and figure out why you're getting upset. Or hire a therapist, which is something I need to do.
I hope you have a weekend full of peace 😊
🧠 + ❤️ // JO