Jordan Ogren

October 15, 2021

My grandma is dying. *Gulp*

My grandma has congested heart failure, and it's only gotten worse in the last few weeks. She began this downhill slide almost six months ago. 

I remember because she—and my grandpa—missed Katie and I’s wedding in June.

Why am I telling you this? 

First, I trust you. Even if we haven’t met, you trusted me by joining this journey, and in return, you have my unbroken trust and complete transparency. 

Second, I am puzzled by a unique life truth:

We are afraid to speak on death. It’s like Voldemort in Harry Potter: He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. We fear naming and facing death.

Most of us subconsciously believe that it will creep quickly and smoothly if we don’t discuss death. But, unfortunately, that's not how I've seen the end come for most.

So why do we struggle to discuss death? Why is mortality such a messy topic?

Because few of us are realistic enough to dance with it (death). That’s not a bad thing. If 90% of humans spent 90% of their time thinking about death, our society would be more f*cked up than it already is.

But if 100% of people danced with death in whatever capacity they could, our society would be far more prepared for those final moments, resulting in a better society leading up to those days, too.

We would appreciate the little moments. 
We would do things with our life that we would be proud of.
We would finally begin to live.

Talking to my grandma on the phone these past few days has been difficult.

It’s unbearable to hear the woman who brought me, as a child, vanilla shakes when I had sore throats, cry uncontrollably at the face of death. I’m shaking typing this.

I’m not sure if my grandma has spent time dancing with death. But I know now she is. And it’s a disastrous dance. She is two steps behind, and death doesn’t seem to care.

Would it be easier for her if she had contemplated death before this day? Maybe.

I do think she may have existed differently in this world, had she.

And for you and I, we still have that opportunity. We can begin dancing with death, facing our limited mortality, and living in light of that.

While it hurts me to share this, I pray it does something for you.

Are you willing to face death with me and come to grips with our mortality?

I promise it will help.

🧠 + ❤️ // JO