Jordan Ogren

November 23, 2021

The comments say it all. <> CR06

This week we stick with LinkedIn Ads for our Content Rewrite.

Side note: Anyone else see ridiculous ads on LinkedIn? I mean, I know there are some on Facebook, but LinkedIn? Come on...

One rule I've learned from my limited experience with ads is that comments tell the true story. And as a company/person posting an ad, you need to monitor, engage, and diffuse objections.

I'll show you the ad and then share a few comments to illustrate my point.

The comments on the ad:
Comments image.jpg
Three things I like:
  • Short copy, only one line.
  • The creative makes you stop as you normally don't see three women staring at you in an ad (the funny thing is, it's a guy who runs this company... AWK)
  • I have nothing more. I plead the fifth.

Three things I would change:
  • Don't Capitalize The First Letter of Every Word. 
    • It Makes You Look Old and Goofy. I think you know what I'd change based on the preceding comments. It makes it way harder to read than if you would write normally.
  • Use diversity in your ad. 
    • Diversity in the creative (people in the ad), the color choices, and the copy. Using three white women in 2021 is morse code for CANCEL ME.
  • The copy in the creative sucks. 
    • Great leaders are NOT great coaches. They are two separate things. Should a leader be a coach? Yes. But they are two different mindsets, and by stating, "Great leaders are already great coaches," you are blatantly lying.

With that, let's look at how I would rewrite this ad to take it from 1% effectiveness to 50%.
The first change I made was to get real. No one wants to be an "In-Demand, World-Class Leadership Coach." That was created in a meeting room 10,000 miles away from the ideal customer.

They may feel burned out trying to transition into a coach or unsure where to start. That's why I went right at that pain to begin. If that doesn't resonate, keep scrolling.

The second change I made was to give it personality. Clearly, a human is writing this. Put yourself in their shoes, "I was there. It took me 15 years..." This also makes you appear a more credible source as you've been in the trenches before.

The third change I made was to put a CTA into the copy. "Start your Leadership Coach Application" is the last thing I want to do. Sorry, not sorry. I put a soft-CTA in by explaining what I did to become a successful coach (gain the tools and mindsets) and then ask if they want to create a more significant impact.

The last change I made was to add a hard-CTA, something they would want to do (i.e., take a free leader to coach assessment). Maybe they don't want to take an assessment. But it's better than an application.

I'll be blunt; this ad was a disaster to rewrite. It lacks any compelling components, and the comments speak the actual story (a product positioned horribly).

But, I'll let you be the judge.

Marketeer Insights ⚔️
  • Stop Capitalizing Every First Letter Of The Sentence. It makes for a horrible reading experience.
  • Use creative that compliments your copy. I am okay with using women, but when a single dude runs the company and uses women dressed up, it is a tad sketchy and shows the company's true colors.
  • Don't run ads until you have clear messaging. Just go to this person's website to see what I mean. The copy is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Or maybe he can do everything for everyone (I do need someone to rub my feet).

Sometimes the best inspiration is seeing what NOT to do. At a minimum, you can avoid making the same mistakes.

What did you think of this ad? Am I on or totally off on this one?

🧠 + ❤️ // JO