Recently a dear friend of mine, on the steps of our church, confessed to me that he wasn't doing well.

His business, his marriage, and other areas were in unrest. I stood there listening in disbelief. The man I always saw as joyful showed a sign of weakness and opened his armor; what I saw were deep wounds. His demeanor also told it all (head low and not the same smile).

Have you ever been there?

I have.

Too many times to count. But that doesn't change the fact that the weight of their pain is tangible when I sit with someone going through hell. It's like I'm wearing a backpack full of cylinder blocks. It never gets easier.

It made me remember an important truth: we only grow through pain.

Comfort is the enemy of growth. 

Consistent effort sustained over time leads to greatness, which doesn't happen in the comfort zone. 

Only when pushing ourselves, can we achieve our worthwhile desires.

Not only that, but I also believe it's how we mature as humans. Only through pain, hurt, rejection, and failure do we download the lessons and insights required to flourish and achieve our best life.

This brings me to the lesson: we should always be close to the pain. 

Maybe that's pain in our own life. And rather than drink or watch TV to distance ourselves from it, we should face it.

Maybe it's a friend's pain. They recently got into a car crash and lost significant cognitive functioning. You struggle to be with them as it's a painful experience as they struggle to communicate and remember who you are.

We have two choices: We can be near or run far from the pain.

I've pledged to always remain near the pain. Whether within myself, with Katie and her illness, or with any friend I have who is going through hell.

You have me as a friend who will walk through the pain with you.

I'll be an ear to listen, a mouth to validate, and a shoulder to lean on.

Life will go on.

But we have a choice to learn and grow through the pain. 
Or let it repeat itself while we think we can distance ourselves from it.

It will find you.

So instead, let's go near it together. To grow and expand into whom we're meant to be.

❣️ + 🧠 | JO