A key question I think must be asked when deciding to pursue a career either in industry or in academia is what does autonomy mean to you and what expectations do you have about autonomy in your chosen pursuit. As I reflect on my own journey from academia to industry, I see how my conception of freedom and autonomy shaped my desire to pursue a PhD in mathematics. I valued the pursuit of interesting ideas simply because they were interesting to me. Over time, though, I realized that pursuing something “just because it's interesting to me” for 10 years doesn’t necessarily lead to a cohesive body of work or a fulfilling journey through life. When I began study at university, I was deeply enamored with the notion of living in an “Ivory tower.” Images of spending entire days thinking about whatever I pleased. I cringe a bit to admit it but I also thought this had inherent value to others as well. I still deeply contemplative hours, but I know I have a different notion of value building than I did then. Moreover, the reality of academia is not like that. Perhaps I can be forgiven because I didn’t grow up around professors. Real professors have obligations. Many have families, engage in non-academic communities, and of course spend countless hours on tasks related to their profession. All of this can be rewarding but also distract from any idealized state notion of leading the academic life.

Over time, I found more satisfaction in completing obligations I’d chosen for myself many of which had nothing to do with deep contemplation. For example, helping mathematics students understand things. This helped me see myself as part of a network of people. Learning how I may affect and influence this network was eye-opening. I still love introspection, but deferring my own desires to help others (admittedly I failed in providing help many times) was surprisingly rewarding.

I think we should strive to be reasonably adaptable to our environment and being as rigid as a marble statue, and claim to 100% certain of everything. Be adaptable and question your deepest beliefs once or twice a year to see if there’s a path you hadn’t considered. It might be a ridiculous side quest, but at least you’ll get a laugh out of it. And more than that, It might not be possible to pre-plan your expectations about autonomy and freedom. Some degree or figuring it out as you go might always be required.

I asked some of my friends and colleagues (some of which have pursued careers in industry and others in the academy) about their own conceptions of the "Ivory Tower." Indeed there seems to be a theme of finding out the best path as you go and having face the reality of our preconceived notions not aligning with reality. Pressures to conform and give up autonomy exist in basically every path you might chose. Understanding what trade-offs are acceptable to you and how you will feel in different environments seems to necessitate trying new things out so keep on keeping on!