This is sort of dorky, but it's a list of my favourite dialogue lines that I've written. I know that it's a little like those 'out of context' social media posts, but eh... it's my blog-thing, so that's what you get. Time for a top five!
Five: The Parting Scene.
This is from a giant rock band AU (alternative universe) that I’ve been writing in for a very long time. The two characters are breaking up; one is trying to convince the other that he'll stay faithful over the time that they have to be away from each other, the other is trying to let the other go.
“I’m scared, I’m scared you’re gonna, y’know, you’re gonna go away and you’ll find someone new, someone better, and you’ll never come back, and I’ll just be here, and I’ll never know what happened to you. And I feel like what we have is kind of special, or it could be, if we fucking… I don’t know, if we talked to each other, which we don’t, and I know it’s easier not to, because I mean… I’m scared to hurt you, I don’t wanna hurt you, ‘cause… I mean, it seems like people like me have hurt you enough already. I’m not fucking dense, I see you flinch when I ...and… and I just…” He rubs a hand over his mouth, and mutters between his fingers, “I think I love you. But I… I don’t know why, or if that would even be something you’d want. I’m sorry.”
The run on sentences, though I know they annoy some readers, are actually what I like about this dialogue. I feel like it communicates tension really well.
Four: The Uncomfortable Observation
“Please. It does neither of us any good to be seen like this.”
This is spoken by a character when another kneels at his feet to do something and doesn't get up quickly enough. There's a biiiig power imbalance between the two characters, and they're in a really challenging and easily observable spot. It's dangerous for them just to be talking to each other, let alone to be making what could be observed as a grand gesture.
Three: The Near-Death Confession
come on breathe
breathe you intolerant asshole
you have no right to die on me now
These are lines which a healer (yay for worlds with magic!!) is trying to bring someone back from the brink of death. The two characters don't have a very good relationship, but they do have a lot in common, and there's potential there, if they can get over themselves. The 'intolerant asshole' in question is a warrior; he's hearing these lines from his hardly-conscious state.
Two: The Grudge
“I believe it,” [Redacted] tells him. “I believe people are capable of change, that none of us exist in a vacuum. I know what he’s done - that he’s clean now, and he seems to be making a change in his attitudes. But you’ll note I never said I had forgiven him. He might not remember what he did, but saying no when it was already too late does not count as taking action. It does not absolve him, not one bit.”
Forgiveness is something that I have struggled with quite a bit in my life. In this scene - which is again, from the huge rockband AU (alternative universe) - an older musician is talking to a younger one about one of the younger's bandmates. This is a very, very old grudge that the character is talking about, and it's related to slights which resulted in a traumatic experience for the older ones band. My interest here is the ripple effect, that the small actions we take (or don't) can have long-standing consequences, and show themselves in ways that we never intended.
One: The Rejection
"You have to live with this. We wasted too much time, and the end of the world is upon us. There is no more forever.” He exhales hard and shakes his head, then shifts his position on the chair, going to the edge of the seat as if to rise. He moves the book as he does, but still holds it tight against his chest - like a piece of armour. “Get out of my way, please. I don’t think we have anything more to say on the subject.”
And now we see that I am just a big old sucker for a sad story. Ha, I'm definitely noticing a theme here. But anyway, the character that this is addressed to has had to make a choice, and he's simply taken too long, making the character who is speaking here feel like it's not worth him waiting around. This is a sad story - nobody gets what they need at all, and everything is drawn out and painful. But I do love that line, because this character is taking back his own autonomy in the situation, and that's a real power move.
To be honest, this was a really fun post to do. It's quite a lot to go back through all the writing and see what sort of sticks out - often as time goes on I feel less affectionate about the lines, but sometimes you're re-reading something and just go "shoot, what brilliant mind came up with that... OH IT WAS ME." I love that feeling.