9th week in Jablonec nad Nisou (Czech Republic).
I do not have empty time. My time has a beginning, a flow, a defined end. I bury my head behind a screen that takes me to another world day after day. I define the beginning, the in-between, and the end. At each of these ends, I close my computer and put it away in the corner, where I don't retrieve it until the next morning. A game that begins anew every single day. But it is not a game. It is the seriousness of my life. The thing that keeps my world going.
It feels good to be in control. Finally, again. After weeks of some kind of chaos, it's a gift. I am creating something out of nothing during this time. The progress is breathtaking, but not surprising. Loose ideas are turning into something that can be used by others. Not yet, but soon.
The world outside is also changing rapidly. The leaves on the trees are starting to change their color. Every new day they look different. Shades of red, yellow and still a lot of green, which gives way to the other colors from day to day. The air also changes, becoming cooler, transitioning to cold. The sky is mostly gray and covered with dark, low clouds that move quickly. It is raining more often. Autumn is here.
The radius of my world has shrunk to a few meters. The bedroom, the bathroom, the living and dining room, sometimes the small garden. But when I lose myself in the task, I don't see the garden at all. Then I get fresh air only through an open window and a few rays of sunshine in short moments, when the clouds opens.
I rarely leave this radius. Sometimes a little walk, that's all. Often to get something, the reason to step outside the door. I have resigned myself to the fact that the environment here hardly gives me anything positive. Everything that bothered me, now bothers me less. I am here and yet not quite there. The farewell is in sight. Uncertainty, how it continues, remains. But the journey continues.
I do not have empty time. My time has a beginning, a flow, a defined end. I bury my head behind a screen that takes me to another world day after day. I define the beginning, the in-between, and the end. At each of these ends, I close my computer and put it away in the corner, where I don't retrieve it until the next morning. A game that begins anew every single day. But it is not a game. It is the seriousness of my life. The thing that keeps my world going.
It feels good to be in control. Finally, again. After weeks of some kind of chaos, it's a gift. I am creating something out of nothing during this time. The progress is breathtaking, but not surprising. Loose ideas are turning into something that can be used by others. Not yet, but soon.
The world outside is also changing rapidly. The leaves on the trees are starting to change their color. Every new day they look different. Shades of red, yellow and still a lot of green, which gives way to the other colors from day to day. The air also changes, becoming cooler, transitioning to cold. The sky is mostly gray and covered with dark, low clouds that move quickly. It is raining more often. Autumn is here.
The radius of my world has shrunk to a few meters. The bedroom, the bathroom, the living and dining room, sometimes the small garden. But when I lose myself in the task, I don't see the garden at all. Then I get fresh air only through an open window and a few rays of sunshine in short moments, when the clouds opens.
I rarely leave this radius. Sometimes a little walk, that's all. Often to get something, the reason to step outside the door. I have resigned myself to the fact that the environment here hardly gives me anything positive. Everything that bothered me, now bothers me less. I am here and yet not quite there. The farewell is in sight. Uncertainty, how it continues, remains. But the journey continues.