Martin Matanovic

November 6, 2023

Letters from Somewhere No. 012

So now we're in Berlin. Not where we used to be, in Neukölln. We are in a "better" area, in Zehlendorf. The accommodation is on the first floor of an Art Nouveau villa that is over 100 years old. The house in Jablonec was also built in Art Nouveau style. So we have somehow remained true to ourselves. But this time we will stay shorter. 

The area is beautiful. It is quiet, little traffic and people. Large villas on spacious plots. I don't know if only single families live in all these houses, but outside it's not as crowded here as in the rest of the city, so it seems here are living less people, but on much more space. There are lots of trees in the area, which look beautiful at this time of year. Not far from here is a park and a lake. You can still go swimming there, our host says. But it's definitely too cold for us. 

The streets are covered with colorful leaves. And when the sun shines, it's like a colorful festival. But I am missing birds. I didn't hear or see a single bird. This was different in Jablonec. But its not the differences that makes this place more uncomfortable than the other, its the space in the apartment. Or better said, its the lack of space. Now we have to deal with it for at least four weeks. 

We met the landlords, but not the family who lives in the other apartment. They are from Israel and fled from the war in their country, I guess. I didn't ask and I don't want to pull my nose in something, that is not my cup of coffee. I made small talk while unloading the car with a woman who was walking past, otherwise I didn't meet anyone yet. We are very busy and packing our things for the trip to Brittany. Planing the next steps. That fills our time. 

The time here is a transition. We are waiting for better times, which we definitely won't encounter here. I don't like the city. It's too gray and cold, too ugly and dirty, too crowded outside this area. I often move from one place to another without noticing my surroundings. I'd like to go to the movies, but it's the time of year when lots of people are coughing. And just being on a crowded train makes me uncomfortable. 

I notice a nervousness that always occurs when someone coughs or clears their throat. Especially when this person does this directly in the open space. I feel uncomfortable around so many people. And I'm somehow disappointed in them. People haven't learned anything or they don't seem to care about other people. Some behave like they are the only one in the world. 

It could be nice here, for sure, but we find it difficult to allow pleasant feelings. And although the city is so full of people, I don't meet anyone. I go into the office and bump into familiar and new faces. Talk about work. Smalltalk. That's it. The work is intense and demanding, but fulfilling. Time flies by quickly. There's always something to do, always something to finish. So the first week flies by. 

About Martin Matanovic

I work, travel and live in different places in Europe and write about it in this newsletter.