Martin Matanovic

August 11, 2024

Letters from Somewhere No.052

Wiesmoor (Germany)

As a child, I always looked forward to going on vacation, because that meant we went to Croatia and I could be with my grandparents the whole time. Vacation was always just the time that meant coming home. They were my home.

Later, I looked forward to the vacations because it meant I could travel with my friends. Even then, mostly to Croatia. But then to the sea. That was in the late 1990s, after the war. Sometimes even during the war. Vacations were the time to celebrate. My grandparents no longer lived there. I no longer had a home.

At some point, vacations were no longer vacations. It hardly had any meaning. I didn't know where to go or why I was traveling at all. My life wasn't in balance and a vacation wouldn't change that. If I could have afforded one at all, because that was a decisive factor.

I was lost, on several levels. A vacation wouldn't make my life any better. I wouldn't feel better before, during or after. What's more, the periods of time were getting shorter. The four to six weeks in my childhood became two to three and then only one, maximum two weeks.

Vacations were never relaxing after my childhood. How can you recover in such a short time? Now that we are traveling, vacations don't result in relaxation either. We pack a lot into a short time to do things, hike or visit places, but relaxation is rarely the result.

I had a vacation last week and it was relaxing.  I didn't do much, I didn't plan anything. I started each day in peace and quiet and when I felt like going on an excursion, I planned it at short notice and set off. Time passed slowly during this one week.

There was so much life in it, so many beautiful little moments, that I felt refreshed during it. I don't know how lasting this experience will be and how much of it will remain, but I hope it's a lot.

Originally written in German. Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

About Martin Matanovic

I work, travel and live in different places in Europe and write about it in this newsletter.