Berlin (Germany)
There is a certain appeal in having no choice. There is something liberating about having only one path ahead and then walking it. It can be comfortable and relieving not to have to make decisions and simply let things become what they will be. Sometimes it is comforting to hand over responsibility for a decision to someone else and simply receive instructions, because obedience to a predetermined list of rules eliminates personal responsibility. Not having to bear responsibility can thus feel liberating.
And doing nothing can also be liberating. Only I struggle greatly with that. Not that I don't want to do nothing – I cannot. I am driven by inner compulsions, by a force that drives me forward again and again. Standing still means giving up. And giving up means going under. But I want to stay above, I want to fly. I want to have the feeling that I can make decisions in my life, that I am allowed to make them. Yet often enough I am held back.
But tomorrow I will start. Tomorrow is a good day to begin with the important things. But also with the less important ones. Tomorrow I will call a friend and tomorrow I will continue working on the project. Tomorrow I will eat healthier and move more. Tomorrow I will meditate. And tomorrow I will search for a house and take care of finances. Because tomorrow is a good day for that – today I will take it easy once more. But what if tomorrow never comes?
There is a certain appeal in having no choice. There is something liberating about having only one path ahead and then walking it. It can be comfortable and relieving not to have to make decisions and simply let things become what they will be. Sometimes it is comforting to hand over responsibility for a decision to someone else and simply receive instructions, because obedience to a predetermined list of rules eliminates personal responsibility. Not having to bear responsibility can thus feel liberating.
And doing nothing can also be liberating. Only I struggle greatly with that. Not that I don't want to do nothing – I cannot. I am driven by inner compulsions, by a force that drives me forward again and again. Standing still means giving up. And giving up means going under. But I want to stay above, I want to fly. I want to have the feeling that I can make decisions in my life, that I am allowed to make them. Yet often enough I am held back.
But tomorrow I will start. Tomorrow is a good day to begin with the important things. But also with the less important ones. Tomorrow I will call a friend and tomorrow I will continue working on the project. Tomorrow I will eat healthier and move more. Tomorrow I will meditate. And tomorrow I will search for a house and take care of finances. Because tomorrow is a good day for that – today I will take it easy once more. But what if tomorrow never comes?