A Village in Rheinland-Pfalz (Germany)
Although I do so much every day, I am making progress only very slowly. If at all. Often I have the feeling that I am simply wasting my time. Because at the end of a day I rarely feel fulfilled or even content. Something is usually missing — a sense of deep satisfaction simply does not set in.
This is mainly because I let myself drift rather than being an active part of any endeavor. I give in too easily to a weakness like tiredness or listlessness, and then I lose myself in meaningless distraction that leads me nowhere, except to steal time.
The garden demands attention. Especially now in spring, when the grass just keeps growing and the flowers shoot up from the ground. But rainy days allow no work in it at all. Only towards the weekend does the sun come out and it turns dry. Then at last the moment arrives and we mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim overhanging branches.
It is an activity that brings me joy, and afterwards I feel exhausted but also satisfied. I am not sitting in front of a screen wandering through virtual worlds, but out there in the real one. Here we also fall into conversation, even if only brief, fleeting encounters. But when they accumulate, real relationships can grow from them.
I am also taking my first longer walks in the forest. Until now I have mostly headed north towards the fields. But this time I set off southward and to the southwest. Less than 500 meters from our house you leave the village and are immediately surrounded by lush green meadows and a diverse forest.
I can barely believe my luck that we live in such a nature-close area. Everything still feels so unreal, and my mind is waiting for the next departure or expecting all of this to dissolve into thin air before long. This feeling of being unrooted is still present and sits deep within me.
Time will sort it out, at least that is what I hope. There is still much to do in the house, and a new home is taking shape only in small steps. To make things harder, I am also struggling with my health. My back has become a seat of persistent pain. I hope that too will sort itself out, and that I will soon reach the next step on the way towards happiness and contentment.
Although I do so much every day, I am making progress only very slowly. If at all. Often I have the feeling that I am simply wasting my time. Because at the end of a day I rarely feel fulfilled or even content. Something is usually missing — a sense of deep satisfaction simply does not set in.
This is mainly because I let myself drift rather than being an active part of any endeavor. I give in too easily to a weakness like tiredness or listlessness, and then I lose myself in meaningless distraction that leads me nowhere, except to steal time.
The garden demands attention. Especially now in spring, when the grass just keeps growing and the flowers shoot up from the ground. But rainy days allow no work in it at all. Only towards the weekend does the sun come out and it turns dry. Then at last the moment arrives and we mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim overhanging branches.
It is an activity that brings me joy, and afterwards I feel exhausted but also satisfied. I am not sitting in front of a screen wandering through virtual worlds, but out there in the real one. Here we also fall into conversation, even if only brief, fleeting encounters. But when they accumulate, real relationships can grow from them.
I am also taking my first longer walks in the forest. Until now I have mostly headed north towards the fields. But this time I set off southward and to the southwest. Less than 500 meters from our house you leave the village and are immediately surrounded by lush green meadows and a diverse forest.
I can barely believe my luck that we live in such a nature-close area. Everything still feels so unreal, and my mind is waiting for the next departure or expecting all of this to dissolve into thin air before long. This feeling of being unrooted is still present and sits deep within me.
Time will sort it out, at least that is what I hope. There is still much to do in the house, and a new home is taking shape only in small steps. To make things harder, I am also struggling with my health. My back has become a seat of persistent pain. I hope that too will sort itself out, and that I will soon reach the next step on the way towards happiness and contentment.