A Village in Rheinland-Pfalz (Germany)
Sometimes life feels fulfilling, but often it does not. A lot depends on my mood. When it is good, I see the positive things in life. When it is bad, there is only darkness and no sense of meaning in the world. I am a creature of mood – it shapes how I see the world and my life within it. It has always been this way.
Leaving Nordhofen was hard, yet I do not miss that time. I rarely think about it anymore. I know that I enjoyed most of it and was glad to be there. I carry memories that do not merely live on in me as images or stories, but have become a fixed part of who I am. A beautiful experience, lived and absorbed.
Two months have passed since we moved into the new house permanently. What I enjoy most is the stillness and the sounds of nature – especially the songs and chirping of the birds. It is a pleasant, vivid backdrop of sound that puts me at ease. The other day, a green woodpecker was on the meadow, and I watched it for a while as it searched the grass for food. I never would have thought that something like that could bring me such joy.
It takes time, they say. It always takes time. I do not know what I expected – if I had any expectations at all. But it feels too long and too slow. I would like to be further along. I would like to be done. Only then could I finally turn to the beautiful things in life. Instead, I find myself chasing after tasks that do not always bring me pleasure.
I would finally have a fully equipped kitchen with cupboards and appliances. A living room with a comfortable couch, the small table in front of it, some plants, perhaps a television in the corner beside the window. A dining room for the large solid wood table and the softly upholstered chairs, perhaps a sideboard. Rugs on the floor and pictures on the walls. The right things, warmth and a sense of home. We are not there yet.
Sometimes life feels fulfilling, but often it does not. A lot depends on my mood. When it is good, I see the positive things in life. When it is bad, there is only darkness and no sense of meaning in the world. I am a creature of mood – it shapes how I see the world and my life within it. It has always been this way.
Leaving Nordhofen was hard, yet I do not miss that time. I rarely think about it anymore. I know that I enjoyed most of it and was glad to be there. I carry memories that do not merely live on in me as images or stories, but have become a fixed part of who I am. A beautiful experience, lived and absorbed.
Two months have passed since we moved into the new house permanently. What I enjoy most is the stillness and the sounds of nature – especially the songs and chirping of the birds. It is a pleasant, vivid backdrop of sound that puts me at ease. The other day, a green woodpecker was on the meadow, and I watched it for a while as it searched the grass for food. I never would have thought that something like that could bring me such joy.
It takes time, they say. It always takes time. I do not know what I expected – if I had any expectations at all. But it feels too long and too slow. I would like to be further along. I would like to be done. Only then could I finally turn to the beautiful things in life. Instead, I find myself chasing after tasks that do not always bring me pleasure.
I would finally have a fully equipped kitchen with cupboards and appliances. A living room with a comfortable couch, the small table in front of it, some plants, perhaps a television in the corner beside the window. A dining room for the large solid wood table and the softly upholstered chairs, perhaps a sideboard. Rugs on the floor and pictures on the walls. The right things, warmth and a sense of home. We are not there yet.