I had my latest run in with toxic social media today. It put me in a mental funk that took a hard bike ride and a meditation session to get over. I was not feeling good.
Earlier today I found myself watching YouTube and going into a spiral of frustration and disappointment. I was watching mountain biking videos and instead of enjoying the videos I love, I was only focusing on how what I was watching wasn't my life. This put me on a spiral where anything that reminded me of the contrast between my life and these videos just made me feel worse. To the point where even looking outside sucked because what was looking back at me was desert mountains of Arizona and not the forest mountains of the Pacific Northwest.
The worst part about this is it was all happening just below the surface. It wasn't active thoughts but just purveying feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction. This almost anxiety like looming feeling in the background of everything that was happening. No matter what I did I couldn't get away from it. It took working out and spending time meditating to get to the bottom of what I was feeling. As soon as I did I could immediately feel the relief.
Nothing you see on the internet is "real". In one way or another it's an edited version of reality. From YouTube to Instagram and from Facebook to Twitter. It's all a 2 dimensional projection of ourselves. Even for the people who are in the videos it's not reality. Reality is a lot messier, and frankly more boring, than a 10 minute video.
The truth is, even if I was in those places that my sub-conscious was telling me would make me happy I would have just found something else to be un-happy about. Instead of Arizona vs PNW it would have been the type of trails I'm riding or how much I'm riding or the tricks I'm doing, etc. etc.. It's never about the things that come from outside yourself, it's always about what is going on inside yourself.
Remember hippieness is something that comes from inside you and no where else. If you're un-happy where you are now, you'll be un-happy somewhere else too. Your brain will always find something else to be un-happy about.
Earlier today I found myself watching YouTube and going into a spiral of frustration and disappointment. I was watching mountain biking videos and instead of enjoying the videos I love, I was only focusing on how what I was watching wasn't my life. This put me on a spiral where anything that reminded me of the contrast between my life and these videos just made me feel worse. To the point where even looking outside sucked because what was looking back at me was desert mountains of Arizona and not the forest mountains of the Pacific Northwest.
The worst part about this is it was all happening just below the surface. It wasn't active thoughts but just purveying feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction. This almost anxiety like looming feeling in the background of everything that was happening. No matter what I did I couldn't get away from it. It took working out and spending time meditating to get to the bottom of what I was feeling. As soon as I did I could immediately feel the relief.
Nothing you see on the internet is "real". In one way or another it's an edited version of reality. From YouTube to Instagram and from Facebook to Twitter. It's all a 2 dimensional projection of ourselves. Even for the people who are in the videos it's not reality. Reality is a lot messier, and frankly more boring, than a 10 minute video.
The truth is, even if I was in those places that my sub-conscious was telling me would make me happy I would have just found something else to be un-happy about. Instead of Arizona vs PNW it would have been the type of trails I'm riding or how much I'm riding or the tricks I'm doing, etc. etc.. It's never about the things that come from outside yourself, it's always about what is going on inside yourself.
Remember hippieness is something that comes from inside you and no where else. If you're un-happy where you are now, you'll be un-happy somewhere else too. Your brain will always find something else to be un-happy about.