I took a brief break from work, and was taking medication to help me unwind and force quit. For the first two days, I spent most of my time sleeping. I felt purely happy and enjoyed my partner’s accompany when I was awake. And this is how it felt to be a neurotypical person. Everything is straightforward as it is.
But I somehow feel I lost the unique way to perceive the world.
I shut down my neuro systems for two days and I rest enough, it is time to get back on track. So I decided to stop the medication, and yet found myself craving for the feeling of numbness. This scares me since relying on medication is never an option for me.
The withdrawal symptom was uncomfortable, mostly headaches and nausea. I can feel the dragon in my head is awakening from hibernation, ready to fly as it used to be. I started to not see trees as trees, but as an aggregation of movement and shapes.
Picking this day to the amusement park is probably not a good call either. Vibrant colours, cheerful jingles and movement of the facilities, they seem to be screaming at me simultaneously. I had to hide out and catch my breath.
A two-day ride into a neurotypical person’s perspective is an invaluable experience, and I finally understand how most people perceive their world and everyday life. To be honest, I am grateful that I get to experience this so early in my career. Fail early and fail fast.
Although flying a dragon is energy-consuming, having the ability to fly a dragon is such a marvellous potential that I don't wanna give up. Furthermore, it shouldn’t be retained or inhibited but to be utilised and put to good use and purpose. The only thing that I need to work on is knowing how to tame the dragon back to the cave and rest.
And that's my next goal. Not wasting any of my talents, but also learning how to wind down fully in order to not burn myself out.
I want to dedicate this post to my partner, for being so supportive and caring, checking on me literally every 5 minutes that I had to shut him off.😂
