Where to start with this. Firstly, I'll avoid the internet's hottest two-letter abbreviation (clue: sounds like hey eye). I think we need some new content. Instead, I'll zoom out to the wider picture of work addiction.
Better put - workaholism.
Me, myself and I, we are workaholics. It's something I've come to terms with over the past year or so. For better or worse, I've realised I derive meaning from my work. It keeps me on an even keel through this ambiguous soup of life.
Friends and family reading this are no doubt wondering how I didn’t know this already. Question is guys, why didn’t you tell me? Think about that one for a second will ya.
I was lost back in 2016 when I didn't have work’s meaning as life thread to tug at each day. Finding my ikigai changed me. It gave me something bigger than myself to contribute as the years count down towards my inevitable disappearing act. It allows me to produce something to pass down as a gift to my future children, if everything works out how I envisage it to.
I have no idea where my internal drive to create something impactful comes from.
An easy answer is the modern-day crutch words "ego", "childhood-trauma" or "narcissism".
I think these might be lazy labels and far too binary. Instead, I believe there's a sliding scale to these words. It's never black and white. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, if you catch my drift.
Breaking news: there’s no simple one word answer to describe why you are the way you are. You’re complex.
However, over the past 18 months, I've seemed to accept and rationalise this part of myself. Yet, I'm still in search of the root cause.
Firstly, I've accepted that I want to work on society's biggest social problems. I've always thought this way. My first recollection of this was, at eight years old, wanting to invent a supermarket plastic bag handle that stopped them cutting into your hands. Groundbreaking stuff.
Secondly, I've recognised that I have an entrepreneurial spirit too. My favourite toy was a plastic post office that my brothers revelled in vandalising - defacing my envelopes and robbing my fake coins. Not cool man.
Finally, I've realised that I like the intellectual challenge of attempting to beat the capitalism video game we're all playing. I don't want to be controlled by money. I want financial freedom and freedom to work on my own projects, related to problems spaces I'm interested in. Ambitious much? Others have shown this is possible.
For many years I've mixed all these potent ingredients together, and in late 2024 I got totally absorbed by work. New "hey-aye" tools gave me new instant Matrix-like capabilities. For example, after three previous failed attempts, I was finally able to code.
Imagine smashing a hammer on a bursting tap at the Hoover Dam. My creative outpouring was insane. I'd be in the office until 2am like a junkie, not even one in recovery. I was a full blown reprobate with a direct cerebral injection of the good stuff because I was now able to conjure magic out of thin air.
Peter Hickling, a friend and long-term coding magician told me "with great power comes great responsbility". He was right. The power was overwhelming - and addictive.
"Just one more prompt...!" I thought, eyes burning, veins bulging, teeth clenched.
With thirteen years of design experience, gaining access to the paint pots was like jumping into a giant vat of tasty cake mix. The whole of 2025 so far has been like living through a renaissance. Now felt like the time to build and act on that internal drive.
I suspected at the time that this artificial absorption was not a unique personal experience. I knew for sure that others were feeling it. Now, I talk to friends who have been through the same situation. We've oscillated between drowning in the dam and treading water for a long time now. Output has increased 10x yet our brains and energy levels remain the same.
Of course, this period had to come to an end for me. The daily dosage I administered was not sustainable. I took an enforced break through a virus I'd picked up from a festival outside of Barcelona. It was clear that my immune system was crying out for more care.
Since then, I've tried to treat work more like going to the gym.
You wouldn't do insanely long gym sessions every day, so why are you pushing to the maximum each day with your brain?
The former results in low performance and injuries. I believe it's the same for the brain, yet the acute effects are more hidden.
Now, I do something so simple that it feels dumb: I work each day until I start feeling tired. Often that's 4 hours of deep work or meetings. I try not to count though. There's always tomorrow.
Then, life outside of this? Well, that's for you to work out. Those of us who use work as an identity crutch need to work harder on developing hobbies, being bored, getting outside. Use your newfound headspace to live again.
If you're a workaholic like me, try to just treat your work like another exercise session, see how that mindset shift works out for you. You might find your outcomes improve too.
Better put - workaholism.
Me, myself and I, we are workaholics. It's something I've come to terms with over the past year or so. For better or worse, I've realised I derive meaning from my work. It keeps me on an even keel through this ambiguous soup of life.
Friends and family reading this are no doubt wondering how I didn’t know this already. Question is guys, why didn’t you tell me? Think about that one for a second will ya.
I was lost back in 2016 when I didn't have work’s meaning as life thread to tug at each day. Finding my ikigai changed me. It gave me something bigger than myself to contribute as the years count down towards my inevitable disappearing act. It allows me to produce something to pass down as a gift to my future children, if everything works out how I envisage it to.
I have no idea where my internal drive to create something impactful comes from.
An easy answer is the modern-day crutch words "ego", "childhood-trauma" or "narcissism".
I think these might be lazy labels and far too binary. Instead, I believe there's a sliding scale to these words. It's never black and white. A little bit of this, a little bit of that, if you catch my drift.
Breaking news: there’s no simple one word answer to describe why you are the way you are. You’re complex.
However, over the past 18 months, I've seemed to accept and rationalise this part of myself. Yet, I'm still in search of the root cause.
Firstly, I've accepted that I want to work on society's biggest social problems. I've always thought this way. My first recollection of this was, at eight years old, wanting to invent a supermarket plastic bag handle that stopped them cutting into your hands. Groundbreaking stuff.
Secondly, I've recognised that I have an entrepreneurial spirit too. My favourite toy was a plastic post office that my brothers revelled in vandalising - defacing my envelopes and robbing my fake coins. Not cool man.
Finally, I've realised that I like the intellectual challenge of attempting to beat the capitalism video game we're all playing. I don't want to be controlled by money. I want financial freedom and freedom to work on my own projects, related to problems spaces I'm interested in. Ambitious much? Others have shown this is possible.
For many years I've mixed all these potent ingredients together, and in late 2024 I got totally absorbed by work. New "hey-aye" tools gave me new instant Matrix-like capabilities. For example, after three previous failed attempts, I was finally able to code.
Imagine smashing a hammer on a bursting tap at the Hoover Dam. My creative outpouring was insane. I'd be in the office until 2am like a junkie, not even one in recovery. I was a full blown reprobate with a direct cerebral injection of the good stuff because I was now able to conjure magic out of thin air.
Peter Hickling, a friend and long-term coding magician told me "with great power comes great responsbility". He was right. The power was overwhelming - and addictive.
"Just one more prompt...!" I thought, eyes burning, veins bulging, teeth clenched.
With thirteen years of design experience, gaining access to the paint pots was like jumping into a giant vat of tasty cake mix. The whole of 2025 so far has been like living through a renaissance. Now felt like the time to build and act on that internal drive.
I suspected at the time that this artificial absorption was not a unique personal experience. I knew for sure that others were feeling it. Now, I talk to friends who have been through the same situation. We've oscillated between drowning in the dam and treading water for a long time now. Output has increased 10x yet our brains and energy levels remain the same.
Of course, this period had to come to an end for me. The daily dosage I administered was not sustainable. I took an enforced break through a virus I'd picked up from a festival outside of Barcelona. It was clear that my immune system was crying out for more care.
Since then, I've tried to treat work more like going to the gym.
You wouldn't do insanely long gym sessions every day, so why are you pushing to the maximum each day with your brain?
The former results in low performance and injuries. I believe it's the same for the brain, yet the acute effects are more hidden.
Now, I do something so simple that it feels dumb: I work each day until I start feeling tired. Often that's 4 hours of deep work or meetings. I try not to count though. There's always tomorrow.
Then, life outside of this? Well, that's for you to work out. Those of us who use work as an identity crutch need to work harder on developing hobbies, being bored, getting outside. Use your newfound headspace to live again.
If you're a workaholic like me, try to just treat your work like another exercise session, see how that mindset shift works out for you. You might find your outcomes improve too.