Michael Rispoli

February 2, 2024

Building for you is the only way to endure...

I came across the following post on X (formerly Twitter) last week. The original posting is on Hacker News and the sentiment rings true for so many entrepreneurs that are attempting to validate ideas while building their personal brand and garner a social following.



Before I continue, it's worth reading the entire post. The author writes:

I'm writing this post because I'm done. I can't do this anymore. After three failed attempts at building a successful startup and spending time institutionalized, I'm giving up on my entrepreneurship dreams.

I tried everything - building an audience, making sure my product actually solved a problem, getting paying customers, and writing high-quality content and contributing to the community. But no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to get anywhere. My efforts were fruitless and I'm tired of trying. I barely had 20 followers, my substack and product blogs didn't get any signups, and while I did get a few upvotes (8) on Product Hunt once, I never had a paid customer. It was as if the world was against me and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't make any progress. I remember trying to interact and hype up my fellow indiehackers on Twitter, regularly engaging with their content, but no one ever paid any attention to me or followed me back. It was like I didn't even exist in the world of entrepreneurship. And even when I did get some attention, it was short-lived and never led to anything substantial.

But it's not just the lack of success that's getting me down. It's also the constant stream of digital nomad influencers on Twitter who sell extremely distorted, rosy, and often times false dreams to indie entrepreneurs like myself. They make it seem like building a successful startup is easy and anyone can do it with the right mindset and a few key tips. But the reality is that it's not that simple. It's fucking hard and it takes more than just a positive attitude to make it.

I know I'm not alone in feeling this way. There are so many other indie entrepreneurs out there who are struggling and feeling like they'll never make it. If you're one of them, I want you to know that you're not alone. It's okay to feel defeated and to want to give up. But please don't give up. Keep pushing forward and don't let the failures define you. There's always a chance for success, no matter how small it may seem.

But for me, I can't take it anymore. I've hit rock bottom and I have nothing left to give. To all the indie hackers, hacker news, and Reddit readers out there, please don't be fooled by the false promises of digital nomad influencers. Building a startup is hard work and it takes time. It's not as easy as they make it seem and it's not for everyone. Don't let your dreams consume you like they did for me, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PROTECT YOUR MENTAL HEALTH AT ALL COST! Don't make the same mistakes I did and realize that entrepreneurship may not be the path for you. It's okay to admit defeat and move on to something else.

This is a sad and harsh reality for many that just want to be entrepreneurs already. They're following all the formulas, they follow all the gurus, coaches, and mentors yet they cannot seem to create a product anyone wants or build a following of any consequence.

It's important to point out that building a social following doesn't guarantee the product you build will be successful. If you build a turd and blast it to a million followers, you'll just get a million people telling you you've built a turd. The audience is useful in testing your ideas as well as distributing your product, but it isn't essential.

If social media gives you so much stress that you end up in the hospital, forget it, it's not worth it. Make yourself a blog and write into the void. Forget the reactions and comments. Writing should first and foremost build clarity and codify the lessons you are learning. In this sense, you are your first and most important audience member. It's sharing knowledge with yourself, a reflection on your journey. If people find it useful, great, if not, fuck off. 

"A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval." -- Mark Twain

You need to be comfortable with you first. I liken this to meeting your spouse. Many people fret over trying to meet their other half. The best advice I've ever received when it comes to finding love is you need to be whole first, only then will you be ready to receive the person you're meant to be with. The idea is that great relationships are not the coming together of two halves that make each other whole. Rather it is two whole and self-confident people that come together to share in this incredible journey.

The same is true of building an audience of any kind. The audience doesn't want to be placated. They don't want to make you whole. The audience you are meant to have wants your true and authentic self. The paradox is, you can only do this while you are not thinking about them. Seeking love and attention only repels it and attracts self-doubt, dissatisfaction, and depression.

I like Rick Rubin's take on this in his book The Creative Act: A Way of Being: "In terms of priority, inspiration comes first. You come next. The audience comes last." 

I'm not making it for them. I'm making it for me and it turns out that when you make something truly for yourself, you're doing the best thing you possibly can for the audience. -- Rick Rubin, Video Link

The author's post might be the most honest and heart-felt post this person ever wrote. As a result, it's gone viral around the internet, and eclipsed the success of anything done in pursuit of audience. Without intending it, they unlocked the secret to what they sought. By not chasing the audience, they found one.

The author of the original post fires back against the idea that building a successful startup is easy and that the right mindset can get you there. 

They make it seem like building a successful startup is easy and anyone can do it with the right mindset and a few key tips. But the reality is that it's not that simple. It's fucking hard and it takes more than just a positive attitude to make it." 

The problem here is twofold. One is defining success through the audience's reception of the end result. The second is the idea that the right mindset isn't enough. He's right, entrepreneurship is hard, and it takes most of us a long time to find that idea and then execute on it such that it is received by the market. There's no doubt that this is an end goal.  The problem is your endurance for doing hard things drops to zero when you hate what you are doing. Chasing the approval of others with every post is a recipe for burn out.

Success comes when you say, 'I like this enough for other people to see it.' Not other people like it so it's successful. That doesn't mean anything because other people liking it is out of your control. All that's in your control is making the thing to the best of your ability. -- Rick Rubin, Video Link

Once again, Rick Rubin comes in with the wisdom that we must redefine how we view success. What I love about this is it redefines success to be what is in our control. What I've learned from running my own company is so much of our success as entrepreneurs comes from staying alive long enough to get lucky. To defile a quote from one of my favorite novels, on a long enough timeline, the success rate of every entrepreneur is 100%. The key is to never quit, the way to ensure you'll never quit is to love doing it. It may take years to get to where you want to be, so find a way to love what you're doing enough that those years are enjoyable. 

It's not typical advice to look at entrepreneurship as a creative act. However, that's exactly what it is for many of us. Yes, the goal is to make money, but we can only do that by providing value. We can only provide value when we love the problem we're solving. We can only endure all of the failures and persist in our endeavor when we love the act of doing it.

Michael Rispoli
Software Engineer & Creative Technologist