I picked up The Inner Game of Tennis last week. It was such a short read, I was able to get through it in about a week. I did not have any expectations around it, I picked it up in a tweet from Tobi.
In there, he mentioned, "unstuck something you had already started". I'm still not quite sure what he meant by that, but it was definitely a great read. I saw a couple of points that struck home that I can share with folks around me. Things I knew but said in a different way.
Self 1 versus Self 2
There was a lot of emphasis on Self 1 versus Self 2 in the early pieces of the book. It's somewhat related to a conscious versus unconscious self.
There was a lot of emphasis on Self 1 versus Self 2 in the early pieces of the book. It's somewhat related to a conscious versus unconscious self.
One, the "I", seems to give instructions; the other; "myself", seems to perform the action. Then "I" returns with an evaluation of the action. For clarity let's call the "teller" Self 1 and the "doer" Self 2.
In the book, there are many references to players telling themselves how bad their shot was. Or how they should have held their racquet in a different way. I often do this to myself. I should have done better in some meetings. How I should have thought about this bug before merging the code.
Those thoughts of beating yourself down are not helpful. In the tennis example, the author mentions how he tries and help players to trust Self 2. In the examples he wrote down when the player can let go of the inner voices, they had much better performance. He enabled players to stop thinking about "being" good and allowing self 2 to take over.
I had a similar experience recently in a presentation. I do a fair amount of 1:1s, team meetings, and interviews every week. One habit I've built is being curious, asking open questions, and digging in talking points. This has served me well, it allows me to discover things I wouldn't otherwise. It has become somewhat of an unconscious effort. Yet when placed in a new meeting environment, for example presenting to execs, Self 1 took over.
Instead of asking questions, and discovering intents, I tried to come up with the answers. As if Self 1 was telling me I can't let it seems like I don't know what I'm doing. I tried to answer the questions, and I ended up answering things that were not asked. Self 2 would have clarified to understand what's the intent behind the challenges. After the meeting, I started telling myself how poor of a job I was doing those sorts of presentations.
I've built a habit of zooming out when Self 1 takes over. I went out for a run and was able to reflect on what happened. Self 1 is a tough one to control, it'll take some time. As the book puts it, improving internal synergy is key to self-improvement
In other words, the key to better tennis - or better anything - lies in improving the relationship between the conscious teller, Self 1, and the natural capabilities of Self 2.
Mastering self-awareness
During the book, the author makes a point about raising self-awareness. By increasing self-awareness, we unlock a process of natural development. This requires us to fight off Self 1 and quiet our internal judgemental voices. Going outside for a run after my meeting served this purpose. It allowed me to quiet Self 1, and understand what happened. I discovered that during those meetings, my natural reflexes shift and I need to be careful around it.
During the book, the author makes a point about raising self-awareness. By increasing self-awareness, we unlock a process of natural development. This requires us to fight off Self 1 and quiet our internal judgemental voices. Going outside for a run after my meeting served this purpose. It allowed me to quiet Self 1, and understand what happened. I discovered that during those meetings, my natural reflexes shift and I need to be careful around it.
The author mentioned how he tried to help a player to improve his back-hand. A player that met with many experts before and couldn't quite figure it out. Instead of handing out tips or tricks, he increased his self-awareness. In a very short amount of time, the player was able to improve his back-hand.
I can't remember you telling me anything! You were just there watching, and you got me watching myself closer than I ever had before. Instead of seeing what was wrong with my backed, I just started observing, and improvement seemed to happen on its own.
It sounds a lot like coaching at work. Enabling team members to reflect on their situation and come up with their own answers. When this works, the learning stick for much longer. The effort on my side is pretty low too. I ask open questions and stay curious. I'm not trying to find a solution or take responsibility for the problem. I'm asking the folks to ask themselves more questions, building their self-awareness. They always come up with the right answers.
I also try to build my own self-awareness, with a lot of help from my coach. I've recently learned some of my reflexes around this. Usually, it starts with a feeling or a spidey-sense. It follows with a judgment of the situation. Often, I get stuck there. I'm learning to check myself and trying to zoom out to observe what's going. It has been helpful so far. Quieting Self 1 usually enables me to think more about strategy instead of being stuck in judgment.
Process of natural learning and teaching
On the topic of learning, the author makes a point around the most natural way of learning. He mentioned that we can learn in a very efficient way by watching something happen. This is different from receiving instructions and getting told how to do it.
On the topic of learning, the author makes a point around the most natural way of learning. He mentioned that we can learn in a very efficient way by watching something happen. This is different from receiving instructions and getting told how to do it.
In short, if we let ourselves lose touch with our ability to feel our actions, by relying too heavily on instructions, we can seriously compromise our access to our natural learning processes
This is interesting, and I'm not sure how to apply it in a remote world. I've definitely done it without knowing it before. Last week, a member of my team told me a story. He mentioned how he remembers me whiteboarding around building Subscriptions APIs last year. He told me he was currently using a lot of those moments in the project he's working on. Back then, I was not trying to teach anything. By looking and watching, he learned about the process of designing APIs. It sounds like he learned more during that time than I could ever teach. This is something I'll keep in mind as I'm working with folks in my team (showing instead of telling)
Recap
The top three points I got out of this book and I'm looking to apply:
The top three points I got out of this book and I'm looking to apply:
- Understanding my internal judgment and breaking free of Self 1
- Mastering self-awareness, and helping others to increase their own awareness
- Showing instead of telling to come out with a better learning experience