I've been thinking quite a bit about doing things for the last time this week. The inspiration for these thoughts highlighted the fact that there are distinct types of Last Time events.
The first type I'll call Unaware Last Time - the things we do for the last time, without knowing it is the last time.
There was a last time I carried either of our daughters to the car, but I did not know it, and have no idea when it was.
I was very much reminded of these earlier this week, when a motorcyclist was killed in a road accident around 7am, on the route I take our younger daughter to school.
Everything that guy did that morning, he did for the last time. Many of the things his family, friends or colleagues did that morning, or the day before, or the week leading up to it, they did for the last time, without knowing it.
We can not plan for these, by definition. Knowing they exist for all of us, might help us to be more aware of the things we are doing and the people we are spending time with.
This brings me onto the second type, the Aware Last Time - the few things we know we are doing for the last time.
This week is the last week of our younger daughter's time in primary school. I dropped her of at the school gate for the last time this morning, having done it pretty much every school morning for the last 10 years.
Tomorrow morning will be the last morning I drive her to the town where her primary school is. I collected her from that school for the last time yesterday.
These types of Last Time events are bittersweet. They signal the end of something, but also the start of something new and exciting. Progress is being made, and a future is unfolding.
The third type I'll call the Decided Last Time - things we actively decide to stop doing.
These are things we generally stop doing, because they are not good for us or those around us.
They require a lot more thought and self-awareness. We have to acknowledge that we are doing something which doesn't have the positive value we think it might have, and then form a new habit, to stop doing the thing harming ourselves or those around us.
These can be trivial at times, but often they can have dramatic impacts on us and those around us. They are harder to deal with, because we have to repeatedly decide that we've done something for the last time, at least until it becomes a new habit. The tricky bit is that unlike the first two types of Last Time events, we always retain the option to do the thing again. We are in control of these types of Last Time, at least we like to believe we are.
The first type I'll call Unaware Last Time - the things we do for the last time, without knowing it is the last time.
There was a last time I carried either of our daughters to the car, but I did not know it, and have no idea when it was.
I was very much reminded of these earlier this week, when a motorcyclist was killed in a road accident around 7am, on the route I take our younger daughter to school.
Everything that guy did that morning, he did for the last time. Many of the things his family, friends or colleagues did that morning, or the day before, or the week leading up to it, they did for the last time, without knowing it.
We can not plan for these, by definition. Knowing they exist for all of us, might help us to be more aware of the things we are doing and the people we are spending time with.
This brings me onto the second type, the Aware Last Time - the few things we know we are doing for the last time.
This week is the last week of our younger daughter's time in primary school. I dropped her of at the school gate for the last time this morning, having done it pretty much every school morning for the last 10 years.
Tomorrow morning will be the last morning I drive her to the town where her primary school is. I collected her from that school for the last time yesterday.
These types of Last Time events are bittersweet. They signal the end of something, but also the start of something new and exciting. Progress is being made, and a future is unfolding.
The third type I'll call the Decided Last Time - things we actively decide to stop doing.
These are things we generally stop doing, because they are not good for us or those around us.
They require a lot more thought and self-awareness. We have to acknowledge that we are doing something which doesn't have the positive value we think it might have, and then form a new habit, to stop doing the thing harming ourselves or those around us.
These can be trivial at times, but often they can have dramatic impacts on us and those around us. They are harder to deal with, because we have to repeatedly decide that we've done something for the last time, at least until it becomes a new habit. The tricky bit is that unlike the first two types of Last Time events, we always retain the option to do the thing again. We are in control of these types of Last Time, at least we like to believe we are.